“I’m hauling to the sawmill right now. It’ll be three-thirty before I can quit. You can take her to the diner if you don’t care. Let her color in the booth or let her have the tablet.”
“I know we agreed I wouldn’t do this, take her to the diner—”
“It’s fine, Rach. You’ll keep an eye on her and she’ll probably love it. It’s a one-time thing.”
“Thanks, Max. We’ll be there waiting.”
“I’ll be there by four, four-thirty at the latest.”
I turned to Sadie who was watching me, curious.
“Daddy said you can come to the diner with me this one time. You have to stay at the booth and if you need something you tell me. Go grab a couple Barbies and I’ll get the tablet off the charger.”
“I get to play the tablet?”
“I know, right? I knew you’d be excited,” I said.
Relief just whooshed through me. I put on my shoes, made Sadie go pee and put on her flip-flops. I grabbed the stuff she’d picked out to take with her and shoved it in a grocery bag.
“Do I get to be a waitress?”
“Uh, no. I don’t think that’s gonna happen, Sadie Lady. But you can color and play dolls and stuff. And remember I set up the Super Why Phonics app for you.”
“Phonics? Raaach…” she said, trying out a whine. I turned and looked at her, rolled my eyes.
“Nice try, kiddo. But you have to play educational stuff and watch PBS Kids. No Snapchat, remember?”
“I remember,” she said, but she had a silly smile on her face, and it felt good to know she wanted to come with me to the diner, that she thought it was fun.
I got her settled, got her some lemonade, and went to work. It was slower during the afternoon, so I was able to spend some time coloring with Sadie. I let her fill ketchup and mustard bottles with my help and taught her how to wipe them off. Then we did the salt refills, and I ended up under the table with the broom and dustpan because she was not ready to fill saltshakers.
Around three-thirty, she was getting restless. I’d taken her to the bathroom, set her up an episode of Wild Kratts, but she was just bored of being there. The third time I told her to quit picking the ice cubes out of her glass and playing with them on the table, I asked her what she needed.
“I’m hungry,” she said. “Can I have fries?”
“How about a grilled cheese?” I offered.
Her face lit up, “Really? Can I see how you make it?”
“I’m not gonna make it, the cook’s gonna make it. I’ll go put in the order and see if they got time for me to take you back there.”
“Please! Tell them please for me!” she said.
I leaned into the kitchen and asked Donnie, the cook on this shift, and he said, sure. So, I had Sadie wash her hands and I tied an apron around her, pulled her hair back with a rubber band and set her on a stool. She was fascinated with the kitchen, with the big tub of margarine Donnie scooped out of with a butter knife for her to spread on the bread. I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture, just for myself. Then I went and got her a spatula. Because every cook needs a spatula.
20
Max
When I walked in the diner, there were a couple people eating at the counter and an older woman having pie and coffee at a booth and looking at her phone. I didn’t see Sadie or Rachel, but Sadie’s stuff was spread out all over the booth we usually sat in. Crayons and coloring books, Barbies and LOL dolls strewn over the table and in the seat. The woman at the cash register said, “Hey, Max, they’re in the kitchen making a grilled cheese. Go on back.”
I slipped back to the kitchen and saw them together. A guy was holding a skillet and Sadie stood on a stool with Rachel’s arm around her middle, so she didn’t fall. Rachel helped her use a big spatula to flip a sandwich in the skillet and then Sadie grinned up at Rachel. I felt a swoop in my chest. The feelings I’d barely let myself consider for Rachel just coursed through me at the sight. I had opened that door just a crack over the weekend, letting myself consider having Rachel in my life romantically. But this—this was something deeper and precious and bittersweet. It was a glimpse of Rachel mothering Sadie, loving her and helping her.
Sadie saw me and said, “Daddy, look! Look what I made!” She showed me the sandwich excitedly.
“Looks great, Sadie Cakes. You better eat it before I steal a bite. I’m gonna have to have you make dinner on your own pretty soon.”