I wanted to die.
Actually, this was what death felt like. Except, I wasn’t in Heaven.
I was in Hell.
Losing my virginity dragged me there.
Chapter 5
—Sage—
“How are things with you and Memphis?” Aspyn questioned on our way home from cheerleading practice.
On Fridays, I waited for her on the bleachers, doing my homework while she did her thing. Both my parents worked late on Friday nights. My mom owned an interior design business, and my dad was a pharmacist; he owned his pharmacy too. We were well off, had a nice, big house, but my family wasn’t conceited by any means. We appreciated what we had, and my brother and I never took advantage of what our parents could buy us.
Brady also had soccer practice on Fridays, and he usually went out with the team after. I didn’t care much for being home alone, so I always waited on Aspyn, so we could get our weekend started with movies or binge-watching our next series. Neither one of us were much for going out to parties, and I wasn’t ready to go back out there. Not with what had happened last time.
“Eh. He’s leaving in a month.”
After what happened that night, I don’t know… I kind of lost respect for him. He didn’t reach out to see how I was; he wasn’t even concerned. He played it off like it didn’t happen, and that didn’t sit well with me. I gave him my virginity, and he could consider it a parting gift.
“What do you want to do tonight?” she asked, coming to a stop at the red light.
“Let’s see if Redbox has any new movies?”
“That works. I need to pick up some Tampons anyway.”
I glanced at her. “You’re on your period?”
She nodded, looking at me. “Yeah, aren’t you?”
Our cycles had been in sync with each other for as long as I could remember.
“No…” I stated above a whisper.
Her eyes went wide. We both knew what happened last month…
“Did you just start?”
She shook her head, reading my mind. “No.
Oh, God … please no.
Neither one of us said anything the entire drive to the store, both of us lost in the same thoughts. I stayed in her car while she went inside. I couldn’t move. I was glued to the seat. My mind was numb, but I felt everything at the same time.
When she got back into the car, I saw the bag in her hands. There, shining like a fucking beacon of truth and consequences was a pregnancy test.
She took one look at me. “Better safe than sorry, Sage.”
“We used a condom. I took the morning-after pill. The hospital suggested it since I was allergic to latex. They said the condom might not have worked. Aspyn…” I paused, feeling an intense sense of panic. “I did all the right things. I did everything I was supposed to. I can’t be pregnant.”
“You’re probably not.” She grabbed my hand. “It’s just for precaution. You’ve been stressed because of finals. You know how you get.”
I was almost a straight-A student. I made the honor roll every semester. All my classes in school were advanced, and I already had college credits.
This can’t be happening to me!
My parents had shown up at the ER that night. They knew what happened between Memphis and me. I wasn’t punished or grounded, but they weren’t happy with the situation and what I decided was the right time for me to lose my virginity, but I'd suffered enough to last me a lifetime with what had occurred.
And now I could be pregnant? What the fuck kind of cruel joke was that?
My whole life flashed before my eyes on the way back to Aspyn’s house. I blinked, and I was sitting on the toilet in her bathroom.
Aspyn sat on the sink, wanting to be there for moral support. She was eating a bag of Skittles.
“I can’t pee with you just sitting there!”
“How old are we? Seven? Just pee. Do you need me to turn on the faucet?”
“Just close your eyes or something.”
“Oh my God, Sage! I saw your entire coochie at the hospital. Hell, half the town saw your punanie!”
“This is different! Stop talking.”
She made a zipper motion over her lips and proceeded to close her eyes. I shut one of mine and concentrated really hard.
“I think my pee has stage fright. It doesn’t want to know the results either.”
She didn’t reply as she simply turned on the faucet, and it worked like a charm. For the next three minutes, we sat on the floor of her bathroom with a stick I’d peed on in between us. Both of us looking at it like it was a ticking time bomb about to explode.
“What are you thinking about?”
I shrugged. “Everything.”
“You know if you’re pregnant, we’ll all be here for you. Your parents aren’t going to be happy, but they wouldn’t abandon you, Sage. Neither would Brady or me.