The look on her face was heartbreaking. Shock. Confusion. Uncertainty. Her mind absorbed my words slowly, very slowly, and once there was nothing left to do but accept my response, her eyes looked empty. “Why…?”
I dropped my gaze because I was ashamed, too ashamed to look my sister in the eye. “The same reason you want to be at the camp with Magnus.”
“No…”
Like a child who’d broken the rules, I kept my head down. I promised a lifetime to the man of this palace, and this moment should be a happy one between two sisters, but it was a nightmare. There was no screaming in joy. No wedding plans. No hugs. No tears. No mention of Mom…
Raven grappled with the words about to come out of her mouth, like she didn’t know how to speak because she’d never expected to say those words. “How can you feel that way for the man who subjugates innocent people to a lifetime of imprisonment, and then a departure from life with a cruel execution? How…? Melanie, ignore the diamonds and the gowns. I know you’re scared to be on your own, but give yourself more credit than that. You can do it. You don’t need him.”
I kept my eyes on my hands. “It’s not like that.” It was nice to be taken care of, to have a man provide for me, protect me, give me a life I’d never thought possible. But that wasn’t the reason I’d fallen in love with him. “It’s not about the money and the security…”
“What is it? The sex?”
It was the best I’d ever had, but it wasn’t that either. “No.”
“Then what?” Her voice started to rise, unable to keep her anger in check.
I inhaled a deep breath, wishing I could show her a reel of all the quiet moments we shared. I wished I could show her who he really was. “I know he’s responsible for a lot of terrible things, but he’s more than that. He’s just so hurt by the terrible things he’s seen that he struggles to feel empathy and compassion for others—”
“Then how could you possibly care for a man who feels nothing for others?” Raven’s eyes were big and raging, full of sheer disappointment.
“Because I believe he can change. I believe he can come back to the right side. I believe, in enough time, he will be who he used to be… He’s just not there yet.” I believed it with my whole heart. With every passing day, he softened, dropped his guard, cared more about a life with me than the work on his desk. He wanted a family. How could a man want a family if he was really that dead inside? He was becoming who he used to be, a man that I’d never met.
“Even if that turns out to be true, it doesn’t change what he’s already done. He’s ordered his men to execute the weakest worker every week to keep the rest of them working like bees in a hive. He’s done that for years, Melanie.” Her voice rose higher and higher, her anger getting the best of her. “He may not be the one with the knife or the rope, but he’s the one with the blood on his hands. How the fuck do you feel anything for that monster?”
Magnus placed his hand on her thigh, silently trying to calm her.
I’d barely said a few words to Magnus, but there was a connection between us, because he was the only person who understood how I felt. He loved his brother too. He was loyal to his brother, no matter what. I dropped my chin again, eyes slowly filling with tears. “That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”
Venom hissed from her mouth like a snake. “My man is nothing like yours.” She forced her voice to steady, but her rage was making her red in the face. “He’s tried to stop Fender many times. He’s tried to convince him to run the camp in a different way. He’s tried to reason with him. They are not the same.”
The moisture toppled over my lashes and dripped straight down my cheeks. “I know I can change him. I can…”
“You’re still going to marry him without knowing for sure?”
My answer was immediate. “Yes…because I have faith in him.”
“Or is it because you know you have no choice?” Raven snapped. “Because, if a man forces you to marry him, that’s not love. That’s cruelty.”
“He’s not forcing me.” I lifted my chin and wiped away my tears. “He’s never forced me to do anything. I can leave this place whenever I want. I stay because I want to stay. I’m telling you, he’s not the barbarian you know him as.” He’d had all the power that first night in my cabin. He could have forced me to do anything. And even afterward, he still had all the power, but not once did he abuse it. He made me feel safer than I’d ever been my whole life. A man had never given me as much respect as he gave me. He was the man of the house, the boss, the dictator, but he reported to one person—me.