He’s hiding something. She was certain of it now. But what it might be terrified her. She cared for him, hated that he pulled away from her, but was afraid she knew the reason why.
She approached him, determined to force the truth from him if necessary. So much depended on it. She wanted to tell him about Vivienne, but didn’t think she should reveal her connection to Esha. If he was working against her, she’d need Esha more than ever.
She laid a hand on the bunched muscles of his shoulder, all too aware of the latent strength of the man she was cornering. “You’re becoming someone to me, Cadan. And you know the answers that I’m seeking. I’m running out of time to discover them on my own. You’ve got to tell me what you’re hiding. Why you’re hiding it.”
“Leave it, Diana.” Cadan turned and took a step toward the door, desperate to get out of there before he did something he regretted, but she grabbed his arm and jerked him to a stop in front of her.
“No.” She glared up at him, her hands tightening their grip on his arm. “Tell me why you’ve lied, damn it. Tell me why you get close to me, kiss me, then stop and storm off. It’s because of what you know, isn’t it?”
She wanted to know the whole, horrible story? That she tempted him with every move she made, reminded him of all that he’d lost? Made him think that everything could be better with her, except that if he went for it, it would all crumble to dust around him with her death?
Nay. These things he would not tell her. But helpless to stop himself, he cupped the back of her head and drew her to him, so close that he could almost feel her. The scant inch of air between their bodies vibrated with tension. Her scent washed over him, arresting and familiar, and the feel of her, the heat of her, stole the caution from his mind and tore the words from his throat.
“You want to know why I’ve lied?”
She nodded, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide. Desperation and fear glimmered in their depths.
“Because I want you, damn it. I care for you. I’ve never been able to stop, no’ for thousands of years. But I can never have you.”
Desperate and crazed, he pulled her to him and crushed his mouth to hers. He kissed her with the fierceness and desperation of a man who had everything to lose and knew that it was already gone.
When she threw her arms about his neck, he clutched her closer, sinking his hand into her hair and wrapping his arm about her waist.
Just a m
oment more.
Just a moment of this thing he could never have. This person. He thrust his tongue between her lips, desperate to imprint her taste upon his mind. She was sweet and soft beneath his lips, everything he’d longed for and more than he’d ever expected. More than he could have. Three times he’d failed to keep his distance. Three times, yet it would have to be enough. He’d have to make it enough.
He pulled away, leaving her flushed.
He couldn’t resist her.
It was ridiculous to have thought he could. Yet the proof of his weakness was still hot on his lips, beneath his hands. One more encounter like this, and he wouldn’t be able to stop. And she would remember her past.
He made up his mind. He’d call Warren, have another Mythean Guardian assigned to her.
He stepped back. “No more.” He shook his head, then turned to stride out of the room. “No more.”
But only he could hear the words.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Diana barely restrained herself from chucking the book at the wall. It was the last of the books in Cadan’s library that might have something to do with her past. And it had been useless.
Which had come as no surprise, by this point. Books wouldn’t work, and visiting Verulamium had only told her that she had been one of the female warriors at the battle of Watling Street, but not which one. To ancient written history, they were nobodies. Her answers weren’t in books, as she’d proven today in a last-ditch effort to find something.
She leaned back in the chair and glared at the clock. Nearly nine at night and she was no closer to figuring out who she’d been or to saving Vivienne.
She’d only seen Cadan once today, when they’d trained in his gym for several hours. He’d excelled at acting like everything was normal when it so obviously was not. She’d tried to ask him questions about what he’d said last night, but he’d deflected them, ignoring her. Ignoring everything.
But he wasn’t just her protector. He was a link to her past. He was part of her past. And there was a very good chance that he was the man from her dream.
The idea that the man she’d come to care for was the same one who’d betrayed her sent a cold shiver through her. But if it was him—which she wasn’t entirely sure of—why had he locked her up like that? And did it have anything to do with why she’d been reborn?
Diana set the book down on the table and leaned back in the chair to think. She had to find out, but when she’d asked earlier today, he’d deflected her questions like she was a fly on his arm. He’d been avoiding her, and it seemed like he was going to keep it up. Letting him do so wouldn’t save Vivienne or get herself out of this mess.
But her previous approaches to figuring this all out weren’t working. She tapped her fingers against her chin. If only there was a way to get Cadan to willingly tell her everything that he knew.