“Okay…” He nodded.
We didn’t say anything to each other on the ride down. He seemed like he had a lot that he wanted to say, but I held up my hand every time he tried to speak. I would have preferred a restaurant or a coffee shop—but all I had was the lobby of the apartment building. It would have to do. Thankfully, they had a small area set up with vending machines and a couple of tables, so I led Jackson there and sat down.
“What happened to you?” I stared at him as he sat down. “I thought you went to college to play football…”
You really don’t look like you should be anywhere near a football field right now.
“I got hurt during my sophomore year,” he lamented. “My scholarship was only as good as my performance on the field—I was never the same after they did surgery on my knee.”
“Damn…” I looked down. “I’m sorry, Jackson.”
You may be an asshole, but I know how much you loved to play…
“My parents offered to pay my tuition so I could finish my degree, but my heart wasn’t in it. I had my sights set on other things—and I missed my sunshine…” He gave me a faint smile.
“Don’t.” I shook my head back and forth. “Whatever happens now—whether I decide to let you see Charley or not—you and I are done.”
“I fucked up, Melanie,” he sighed and leaned forward. “I wanted to stay with you. I wanted to be there when Charley was born—but my mother…”
“Take some responsibility, Jackson. If you wanted to be there, you would have been. You never did a damn thing your mother said.” I narrowed my eyes.
“You’re right.” He nodded. “That was on me. I’m here now. What do I have to do to see my daughter?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “How about you get your own place, find a job, show me that you’re going to be here in a year—two years—show me that you plan to stick around. Charley doesn’t need a father that’s just going to meet her and disappear the next day.”
“If I do that, will I get another shot with you—at us?” He looked down at the table.
“No, Jackson.” I shook my head back and forth. “That’s going to stay in the past where it belongs.”
“Okay…” He nodded. “Maybe you’ll change your mind when you see how much I’ve changed.”
Jackson stood up from the table and started walking towards the door. I wanted to go after him—I really did. Seeing him stirred up all of the old emotions that I thought were buried so deep they could never see the light of day again. Before I knew what was happening, I was standing—then I was walking. I saw Jackson on the other side of the door. He lit a cigarette, pushed the lighter into his pocket, and pulled out a bottle of pills. I stopped in my tracks as I watched him toss several of them into his mouth and tilt his head back.
“What are those?” I pushed the door open—I wasn’t going to ignore what I saw.
“These?” He looked at the bottle. “They help me with the pain—I’ve got a lot of it these days…”
“Hold on, Jackson.” I put my hand up. “I’m not letting you anywhere near Charley if you’re on drugs.”
“My doctor gave me these.” He scoffed and pushed the bottle into his pocket.
“Did your doctor tell you to take three or four of them at a time?” I narrowed my eyes and motioned to him. “Let me see the bottle.”
“No!” He took a step back, and his face twisted into an angry expression.
“Then you need to stay the fuck away from me—and Charley.” I turned back towards the door, but a hand grabbed my arm and spun me around.
“I tried to be nice, sunshine.” He gritted his teeth. “I will see my daughter. Do you think I came all the way to Carson Cove just so you could get rid of me? No, fuck that.”
“Let go of my arm!” I pulled against his grasp and winced when he squeezed. “Jackson, you’re hurting me!”
“I’m going to do a lot more than hurt you, sunshine.” He leaned so close I could smell the stench of cigarette smoke on his breath. “All it’s going to take is one call to my mother—when I tell her that I want to see my little girl, she’s going to make it happen. I bet you’ll come crawling back to me on your hands and knees then won’t you, sunshine? Then I’ll be the one that gets to decide who does and doesn’t see Charley.”
Jackson let go of my arm and walked towards his car. I was so shocked that I was frozen in place. He was an asshole—but he had never been violent—he certainly never laid a hand on me. I staggered back into the lobby and sat down. Once the initial shock wore off, the tears started streaming down my face. I didn’t want to go back upstairs. I didn’t want Charley to see me like that—I didn’t want to have to tell my mother what happened. My fingers started typing on my cell phone—but I hesitated before I sent the message.
Taylor wouldn’t understand. I’ve never even told her I have a daughter. She’s planning a wedding. I don’t want to burden her with this…
I sent a text message to my mother that was basically a lie. I told her that I met with Jackson, things were fine, but I needed some time to myself. The last part was true, but things were most certainly not fine. I walked outside to my car—and I just started driving. I had no destination in mind, no idea which direction I would go, or where I would end up—I just felt like I needed to keep moving—as if the road was going to somehow put miles between me and Jackson’s reappearance.