“Goddamnit Lucy,” he says after stumbling back a step and rubbing his jaw, his eyes hard on mine. I know this is a shock for him. Never in my life have I ever treated him this way. I wouldn’t dare to now, except that I feel as if I’ve already lost everything that matters to me.
“I went out on a limb for you yesterday because you asked me to. Do you understand what you asked of me? Do you understand what the fuck you put me through?” I shriek walking back-and-forth, waving my hands around like a raging lunatic.
Hot tears sting my throat burning my eyes as I cover my face with my hands. I hate to cry. I find it incredibly humiliating and the last thing I want to do is cry in front of the person I now hate most in the world.
“You lied to me and told me that you were done with drugs,” I continue, turning on him and pointing my finger. “You promised me that it was the last time. That everything was over and that we could be a family again. I watched you go to prison, and I watched my prayers be answered by some God who suddenly decided to pay attention to my life.
And then when my life was finally starting to get good, you decide to ask the unthinkable of me. Essentially you asked me to join forces with you, putting me at risk. Without even telling me! I had no affiliation with your drug smuggling or any of that bullshit until last night when you asked me to pick something up for you.”
“Language” he monotones pointily still holding his aching jaw.
“I’ll say whatever the fuck I want,” I snap pacing back-and-forth in the living room resisting the urge to kick the coffee table only because I know it’ll do more damage to me than I will to the furniture. “You asked me to go out there and be a part of a drug bust. Do you know exactly what happens to people who are caught? Did you know that I can go to jail? Hell, I can go to prison, but you didn’t care because you remain the most selfish fucking person on the planet. All you care about is yourself. How are you going to make money? And honestly dad,” I say turning and glancing around the shitty apartment, “Why the fuck are you still in this business if you don’t even make enough money on it anymore to get a decent place to live? Look at this place. How can you live like this?” I ask gesturing to the cracked walls, the dingy carpet, and the broken window shades.
“Now wait one goddamn moment,” he says stepping forward and reaching for me as I take a step back.
“Don’t touch me. I’m not finished,” I snarl at him. “My life was good. I was happy I had a job. I was saving up for college. After this year I was going to do something with my life. I had a boyfriend. Not that you bother to ask me about my dating life or what I’m up to. All you want to know is how I can help you,” I shout smacking my arm across his bookshelf, knocking the books to the floor and a holy Bible lands on top.
“Really dad?” I say gesturing to the Bible before turning away from it and fisting my hands over my face again.
“You put me at so much risk,” I say, unable to hold back the tears any longer, “and you don’t even care. All you thought about was yourself. And now I’m going to lose my job because I’m going to prison because my boyfriend found me out and he will have no choice but to turn me in.”
“The hell he will,” my father growls stepping forward, his hands clenched at his sides. I know he wants to reach for me and comfort me because despite his selfish ways he does in fact love me. “Jake and I’ll put the fear of God into him. I’ll?”
“?Nothing! You will not say or do anything about this matter. He’s probably the one pe
rson in this town who isn’t afraid of you.”
“What are you saying?” he asks confused.
“I am dating Kenton Traverse. Maybe was. Most likely was,” I start to cry again.
My dad freezes. He doesn’t even blink. He simply stares at me.
“You are dating the chief of police, Kenton Traverse. The man who used to date you?” he says slowly articulating each word perfectly as his mind wraps around the revelation.
“Yes,” I snap my eyes fierce on his. “And I have been sleeping with him!”
“Ugh!” he exclaims jerking back and shivering as if revolted by simply the idea.
“I have been dating him in secret,” I snarl stepping toward him, no longer afraid of what he will think about it because I don’t want to hear about his opinion because he obviously doesn’t care enough for me. “I am in love with the chief of police, and he is in love with me. My best friend's dad, my childhood babysitter,” I taunt raising eyebrows, “a man twenty years older than me who treats me with so much love and respect. I can’t even properly explain it to you because you don’t know what those things mean,” I say standing nose to nose with him. Challenging him.
“You’re lying.” He shakes his head, refusing to believe the words that I’m saying.
“I am not,” I glower back at him, refusing to back down. “He spent the night last night. You can ask anyone in the neighborhood. They all saw his cruiser in front of my house this morning. I imagine most of them thought it was a casual morning coffee probably discussing Charlie,” I say, thinking you back to this morning before everything turned sour.
“But he saw me last night in the warehouse,” I continue. “He ran after me, but he couldn’t catch me because I’m faster than him.
“You’re faster than everyone,” my dad says with a quick grin that temporarily defuses the situation.
“Damn right I am.” I nod turning away from him and pacing again. “I was faster than him and I lost him in a dark alley. And then I came back here to drop off your precious package I,” spit, “and then I went home. Then so early in the morning I’m not even fucking sure what time it was, I woke up to police sirens and pounding on my door. He’d had a dream bad enough to wake him up and check on me. He wouldn’t even tell me what it was about. But he stayed the night.”
He groans dropping his face into his hands knowing what that must mean as a grown man.
“I thought surely that he knew it was me. That he was there to arrest me because of you. You spineless prick,” I hiss glaring at him.
“Lucy, call me one more fucking name,” he dares, looking up shortly raising his finger at me, “and I swear to God?”
“You’ll what? Everything that mattered to me you took away from me last night!” I shriek my heart aching, and unable to comprehend how he couldn’t care less that I am likely facing prison and that my boyfriend, the man I love, will be gone forever from my life. “He found the sweatshirt in my room this morning dad. He knows it was me there. He knows,” I choke out, my eyes hot on his. “I’m going to go to prison. I’m going to lose a man I love. My life is over, all because you’re so incredibly selfish,” I say turning away from him unable to look at him any longer.