The waiter brought the wine, and I couldn’t deny that it was the best one I had ever tasted. I never bought anything remotely expensive when I was searching for a bottle to drink at home. One step above the stuff they sold in a box was good enough for me—and I had considered the box wine when it was on sale. As soon as we had a chance to sample the wine, we placed our order. I made sure to order the most expensive appetizer on the menu—that I could pronounce—and a meal that was within my budget.
“How about a joke?” Ian took a sip of his wine.
“Not tonight.” I shook my head
quickly. “I really just want to talk.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “The floor is yours…”
“I tried to come up with a list of reasons like you asked, but they all turned into excuses.” I sighed. “I think it’s just easier for me to explain why I’m so hesitant…”
“That’s fair.” He took another sip of his wine.
I told Ian about my parents’ divorce and how it impacted me at an early age—how it soured my perspective of love and spiraled into a disdain for the holidays. I explained how it crushed my emotions, ruined my childhood, and made me grow up way too fast. It created trust issues, turned me into baggage that my parents had to haul around, and eventually—I became scenery in the new lives they began after the one I was a part of turned into a bad memory for both of them. Ian listened to me rattle on without saying anything—without cracking a joke—and by the time I saw finished, I saw sadness in his eyes.
“I haven’t told many people that…” I reached for my wine and sighed.
Now react badly so I can add another flaw next to your inability to let me pay for my own wine.
“That’s horrible.” He shook his head. “No kid should have to go through that. It wasn’t your fault that your parents got divorced.”
“I stopped trying to rationalize it a long time go.” I shrugged. “I learned how to move on.”
“But you didn’t…” He narrowed his eyes. “You still haven’t moved on. You’re letting it interfere with your life right now.”
“No, it’s just part of who I am. I can’t change my view of the world when I’ve only had one…” I took a rather large drink of my wine.
“Then you need a new one.” He scoffed. “Seriously, why are you shutting your eyes to everything else when you have an opportunity to create your own perspective?”
“What do they say about those who don’t learn from history?” I tilted my head. “They’re doomed to repeat it…”
“Yes, but you’re applying the concept in the worst way possible.” Ian took a sip of his wine. “You’re choosing that version of history when there are a lot of other options.”
“You have to go with the one you know.” I shrugged. “This is mine.”
“Give me one chance to show you that it can be different.” He leaned forward.
“I don’t know…” I grimaced. “I didn’t come here to lead you on. I really just thought it would be easier to explain this in person.”
And I’m finding a lot less flaws than I hoped, which is making it harder than I expected…
“You’ve done that.” He nodded. “Now, give me a chance to change your mind.”
“What if you can’t?” I looked across the table at him.
“Then we’ll both delete the app and go our separate ways—but you can’t close your eyes to what I show you—you have to be willing to keep an open mind.” He narrowed his eyes. “Can you do that?”
I’ve come this far, and my sob story didn’t make him immediately ask for the check—maybe I should consider it…
“I’ll do my best.” I nodded.
Ian didn’t seem to be backing down, regardless of what I said. There weren’t enough obvious flaws to make me immediately ask for the check. It would have certainly been easier if there were some I could latch onto and start building a case against him in my head. My story didn’t even ruin his sense of humor. As soon as I agreed to give him a chance, he told me a couple of jokes that lightened the mood, and then the waiter appeared with our appetizer. My need to run away began to give way to the same curiosity that made me start talking to him in the first place—and I felt a flutter in my stomach when I finally laughed.
He’s definitely not going to make it easy for me to just delete the app and walk away…
Chapter Eight
Ian