Ten missed calls from Melanie? Oh my god. Things must really be going to shit with her mom.
“Melanie?” I pushed the phone to my ear as I cranked up my car. “I just got done visiting with my foster mom—sorry, I missed your calls.”
“Eliza, oh my god.” There was a definite panic in her voice.
“Calm down, I’ll be back to your house soon.” I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Your mom means well, I promise…”
Her mother really is impossible.
“No, you need to come to the hospital—now!” Her panicked voice cracked, and she was practically yelling into the phone.
“The hospital? Why?” I felt a stabbing sensation in my gut, even though I didn’t know what happened.
“It’s Hudson. There’s been an accident. Please hurry!” I realized that it wasn’t panic I was hearing—it was fear.
Oh no. Oh god no.
“I’ll be right there!” I threw my phone in the passenger seat and hit the gas so hard that I nearly took out a mailbox before I shifted my car from reverse to drive.
I didn’t ask what happened. I was scared to ask. Scenarios played in my head as I drove, and none of them were good. My head spun so hard that I struggled to keep my foot on the accelerator—but I had to. I had to get to Hudson’s side as fast as possible. An accident could mean anything, but I couldn’t stop the fear from consuming me. I didn’t even park my car when I got to the hospital. I drove up to the emergency room entrance, hopped out of my car, and left the door open as I ran inside. The emergency room was vacant except for four people—Preston, Melanie, Dave and Hudson’s father. Their eyes were rimmed red, and I could tell that they had all been crying. My knees started to get weak, and I almost fell to the floor before Melanie ran up and grabbed me.
“Please tell me he’s okay!” I looked up at Melanie and saw tears start to run down her face.
21
Preston
Earlier that day
I was slightly relieved when I checked in with Hudson and he said that he didn’t think he would need my help. Being able to help with his campaign was nice, but it was hard for me to spend time with Eliza without constantly feeling the sting of my regrets. Every time I saw her smile—every time I heard her laugh—every time her hand brushed against Hudson. They were reminders of my lies and it cut into me like a knife. What we had was incredible and I threw it away. I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. I still loved her, and nothing could change the way I felt. Spending time with her just made it harder to swallow those constant reminders. It was easier when she was away—even when I had to tell Hudson the truth. There was pain, regret, heartbreak, and then life became a semblance of life after Eliza. Hudson and I might have found something on the other side of that if she had never come back, but her return had permanently erased that possibility for me. I was going to be alone without her. In some ways, that was better than finding something fake in another woman’s arms.
My ultimate penance isn’t just to carry that agony inside me. I have to watch the happiness that could have been mine unfold in front of my eyes.
I sat down in my living room and stared at my coffee cup. There was a time when my morning coffee would have been spiked with whiskey. I managed to overcome it when the bottle was sitting in front of me, but after the previous day, the call was even stronger. The despair was my burden, an albatross around my neck, but knowing that didn’t make it easier. I wasn’t sure I would ever get through a whole day, especially one where I saw Eliza, without wishing there was a way to numb the pain. I wanted to be strong enough to hold onto my pain and let it be the price I paid, but my strength felt sapped. Eliza was a drain on my emotions and that was harder than I ever expected. I aimlessly reached over and picked up my truck keys. Was that the answer? I could leave. I could start over somewhere else. Eliza did that—she learned to hate Andalusia—she learned to hate me.
Maybe I’m better as a memory than the man all of my lies has turned me into.
I tossed my car keys on the table and stretched out on the couch. I couldn’t abandon Hudson, no matter how much turmoil I had inside me. He was going to war with the most powerful man in Andalusia. Abandoning him when he needed me most would be another act of betrayal, and I had already secured my spot in hell for what I did. There was no reason to go for a luxury suite in the lake of fire. My eyes started to close, and I decided to just give in to sleep. I hadn’t drunk enough coffee to fully wake up and it had been a restless night. If I could catch an hour or two on the couch, it would be somewhat of a blessing. I don’t know how long I was out for, but I was woken up by the sound of my phone buzzing against the coffee table. I picked it up and rubbed my eyes as I saw Dad’s number.
“Hey.” I lifted the phone to my ear.
“Preston—there’s been an accident. I’m on the way to the hospital. Can you meet me there?” My father’s voice snapped every bit of sleep out of my eyes.
“An accident? Are you okay? Jenny?” I jumped to my feet as I tried to figure out who he was talking about.
“It’s Hudson.” I heard him exhale sharply. “He flipped his truck.”
“What!? Oh shit. Okay, I’m on my way.” I slid my finger across the screen and grabbed my keys before I bolted towards the door.
I instantaneously forgot about everything else in the world except for my brother. I ran to my truck as fast as I could and ignored every stop sign on the way across town. My brother was one of the safest drivers I knew—even when he was behind the wheel of the fire truck responding to an emergency call. I couldn’t believe he had flipped his truck. In the back of my mind, something didn’t sound right about that, but I couldn’t focus on it. I didn’t think I had a very good relationship with the man upstairs, but I still said a prayer as I drove. All of my regrets cascaded in my thoughts as I pulled into the parking lot. Hudson couldn’t die—not when he finally had what he waited so long for. I slammed my car in park as soon as I got to a parking space and ran as fast as I could towards the emergency room door. Dad met me at the door and grabbed me in a tight embrace.
“What happened?!” I pushed back from the hug. “Is he okay?”
“He’s in surgery.” Dad’s already red eyes tensed up and I saw tears forming. “It was a really bad accident.”
“How? Where?” I felt my head spinning as I spoke.
“I don’t know everything. Chief Traywick called me as soon as he realized it was Hudson’s truck. Someone saw it on the side of the road and called 911.” Dad exhaled sharply and let go of me to grab a chair for support. “I just—I don’t know.”