“There’s nothing to apologize for.” Lawson’s arms engulf me in a tight embrace. “It’s okay.”
I feel more vulnerable now than I did when my panties were pulled down. Raw, unfiltered emotions come to the surface as the euphoria begins to fade. I rest my head on my shoulder and try to hold back the tears, but a couple of sobs still push through.
“You can cry if you need to.” Lawson’s hand lightly strokes the back of my head.
I do need to cry. Everything begins to hit me all at once. So many thoughts. So many feelings. I’ve never felt this kind of warmth. It’s like my mind has found a way to spin ecstasy and melancholy into a singular emotion.
Lawson holds me while I cry tears that are both happy and sad. He speaks softly into my ear and tells me everything is going to be okay. I’ve needed to hear that for so long, and for the first time in my life, I actually believe it.
“I’m such a mess.” I lean back from his embrace and wipe my eyes.
“I think you need to get some rest.” He brushes my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. “It’s been a long night.”
“Thank you.” I nod. “For everything.”
Lawson lifts me up onto the couch, and I stretch out on it. I don’t even have time to tell him that I’m cold before he
reaches behind the couch to grab a blanket. He obviously wasn’t lying when he said that he’s spent the night in his office a few times.
I watch as he finishes his drink, turns off the light, and lays down on the floor next to the couch. I still have a few emotions lingering, but I’m more amazed by him than what is going on inside my head.
I literally orgasmed on top of him, and he didn’t ask for anything in return. I would have done anything. He could have taken my virginity, and I would have given it to him without a single regret in the world. Part of me wishes he would have ripped my panties off before I had a chance to pull them up.
But he realized I needed a hug more than anything else. The warmth of his embrace was as amazing as the pleasure that consumed me.
I don’t want this night to end. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and go back to the life I had before I met him. I’ve searched for this too long to watch it slip through my fingers again.
I hope there’s a chance for more…
Chapter Eight
Lawson
I have no idea what I’m feeling right now. I’ve never met anyone like Ainsley. I thought she would chicken out before I ever made it to the couch, or I would smack her ass a few times, and that would be the end of it. I definitely wasn’t expecting it to go that far, but once I saw how submissive she was—how she begged for it—I couldn’t force myself to stop.
Even then, I didn’t expect it to make her come.
There was a point when I regretted offering it, but that hesitation ended the second she was across my knee. I told myself I would see where the night went, and it certainly when somewhere unexpected.
I came to the party tonight ready to get it over with so I could drink myself to sleep. Just so I could wake up and begin another miserable day.
I don’t feel that miserable anymore. Talking to her was so much fun, and what happened after… I’m sure I’ll have some dreams that make me wish things had gone further than they did. I thought they might, and I was ready to say fuck it to every inhibition I had, but it wasn’t what she needed. That’s perfectly fine with me. I’ll be able to sleep easier knowing that I didn’t take advantage of her when she was so vulnerable.
Once the lights are out and I am get settled on the floor, I realize just how uncomfortable it is. It’s been a long damn time since I was in the desert, sleeping wherever I could get my head down for a few minutes.
Ainsley doesn’t seem to be comfortable either. I listen to her toss and turn for several minutes before the alcohol catches up with me, and I am able to ignore the protest that my back is lodging about my sleeping accommodations.
My eyes close for what feels like literally seconds before they open again to the sound of Ainsley sitting up on the couch. I hear a whimper—she must have forgotten how difficult it was going to be to sit after the spanking she got.
I start to say something, but before I can, Ainsley drops down to her knees and curls up beside me. I don’t know if I should acknowledge it or not. I listen to her breathe for a few minutes and finally give in. I put my arm around her, and she snuggles in closer. She places her head on my chest, and I stroke her hair until I hear her breathing get shallow.
Fuck, this feels nice. It’s been so long since I’ve had a woman in my arms—even when I was married, my wife usually stayed on her side of the bed.
Is it wrong for me to want to stay trapped in this moment for longer than one night?
That’s madness.
The last thing she needs in her life is someone like me.