Chapter Nine
Ainsley
I fell asleep in the arms of a man hot enough to boil me alive with a single glance.
That intensity.
That presence.
His rough exterior is the result of being beaten down so many times that he had to turn to stone or die. He doesn’t hide from his shortfalls. He freely admits all of the things he did wrong, and what his actions cost him.
I wish I could see myself with that much wisdom. I stumble my way through life, making excuses, and when I realize I screwed something up, I swear I won’t do it again—then I do. It’s always been that way. I’m drawn toward the negative perception and flourish in it. I do things that intentionally annoy the people who care about me and drive them crazy.
Lawson makes me want to be different. It’s like looking into the future and seeing what my life will become if everyone simply gives up on me.
Maybe that’s why I feel so drawn to him.
Last night was incredible. I want to cling to that feeling. I want to celebrate it. I finally found someone who checks every mark, and he didn’t reject me. The spanking was everything I wanted and then some—the way he took control, the way he stripped away my limits after dangling that carrot in front of me. I want more.
Before that can happen, I have to deal with Sarah.
I walk into the hotel, take the elevator to the sixth floor, and pull my keycard out of my purse. I have no idea if it will work. It’s possible she took off. I slide the keycard into the door and take a deep breath; it may not even open if she checked out.
But it does.
“Sarah, you fucking bitch!” I walk into the room and see her asleep in the bed.
“What?” She stirs and wipes her eyes.
“You abandoned me!” I throw my purse at Sarah’s bed, and it hits her in the chest. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry!” She pushes my purse away. “I thought you got arrested!”
“So you just came back to the damn hotel and went to bed?” I grab my bag. “I’m out of here. I’m done.”
“What happened last night? I tried to wait up…” She reaches over and turns on the lamp.
“He’s not an asshole.” I shove all of my stuff in my bag and walk into the bathroom.
“Where have you been?” She stands up and follows me to the bathroom.
“Do you even care?” I sling my stuff from the bathroom counter into my bag and push my way past her.
“Ainsley, talk to me…” She stares at me in confusion.
I don’t respond. I’m too angry. She left me alone in Lawson’s office. She didn’t even bother to text and check up on me. She just went to fucking bed.
I don’t need friends like her.
Sarah sends me a couple of messages when I get to the car, but I don’t even read them. Last night might have been incredible, but things could have happened differently. I could be sitting in a jail cell right now waiting for my mom to get me out.
Not that Sarah would care.
After I drive away from the hotel, it hits me that I have to get ready for a date. I’m still wearing my cheerleader outfit from last night. I need to shower, do my makeup, and I really didn’t bring anything that I would want to wear tonight.
One thing I’ve been careful with is my money. I buy frivolous things, but until I got the handcuffs slapped on my wrist, I saved money with petty shoplifting. I do have a credit card that I’ve tried to save for emergencies, but it looks like I’m going to have to use it.
I drive until I find a cheap motel and pull into the parking lot. It’s skeevy as fuck, but I don’t plan on spending the night. When I walk into the lobby and see that they charge by the hour, I understand exactly what kind of place it is.