Slytherin4ever: I got time. Obviously. Or I wouldn’t be wasting it on someone who isn’t interested. Is it because I don’t have pictures? Is that why you’re not interested?
OD: Nothing to do with pictures, Slytherin4ever. But if you’re hoping this’ll turn into something other than a platonic conversation to pass the time, then I’m afraid you’re going to be sorely disappointed. If you’re okay with those expectations, then okay. We can keep this going. I could probably use a little advice, anyway.
Slytherin4ever: Deal. And I’m an expert at love advice––obviously––since I’m on a dating site and all. I got plenty of healthy relationships under my belt.
I snort and type my response. This girl sounds crazy. But also entertaining, and I could use the distraction.
OD: That sounds promising.
Slytherin4ever: Do I sense sarcasm, OD?
OD: Maybe a little bit. You make some good points, though. I’m not sure searching for relationship advice through a dating app is very smart.
Slytherin4ever: Yet here we are. You’ve piqued my curiosity, my friend. Spill.
OD: What do you want to know?
Slytherin4ever: Well, I WANTED to know your Hogwarts house, but…I guess the mystery girl’s name will have to do.
OD: I think we should probably keep names off the table, but since I’m being vague, I’ll throw you a bone. I’m a Slytherin.
Slytherin4ever: Called it. ;) Never trust a Slytherin.
OD: Says the girl who has the username Slytherin4ever.
Slytherin4ever: And I stand by that name. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ;) Okay, so this mystery girl…what happened? Why her? Is it because you can see her pictures and you can’t see mine? Lol
OD: I actually think it would’ve been helpful if I couldn’t see her pictures on here. I catch myself drifting to them way more than I should. But before you call me a perv, we have a past, and she sent me much dirtier pictures than the ones on her profile before we broke up.
Slytherin4ever: A past? As in…one that needs a restraining order? And did you keep the pictures?
I laugh.
OD: No, it didn’t involve a restraining order but good question. As for the pictures…she asked me to delete them, so I did.
Slytherin4ever: A girl can never be too careful, what with meeting men on the internet and all. And you really deleted them?
OD: I thought she deserved a clean break.
Slytherin4ever: Yet you’re still pining after her? That doesn’t sound like a clean break to me.
OD: I think clean breaks are bullshit.
Slytherin4ever: On that, we both agree. Breakups are messy.
OD: They are. Even when you try to make them clean and as painless as possible.
Slytherin4ever: Was it painful for you?
OD: It was unbearable.
Slytherin4ever: I’m sure you managed just fine.
My brows furrow as I reread the message.
Managed just fine?
I shake off the thought and answer her.