“He’s a little hung up on other things right now.”
“What kind of things?”
I cringe. “Um…a certain ex, for example.”
“What?” she demands, her voice reaching a new pitch.
“Maybe he knows it’s me––”
“There’s no way he knows it’s you,” she tells me. “What has he been saying?”
“Just that he isn’t interested in anything but a friend right now because he’s trying to win back his ex.”
Her jaw drops as she shoves me gently, making me take a step back. “No. Freaking. Way. Are you serious right now?”
“Like the plague.”
“Why haven’t you told me this?”
“I don’t know,” I hedge, looking over my shoulder. Again. “You’ve been miserable ever since Liam left.”
“Well, maybe I’ve needed the distraction. Ever think of that one, Say?”
I grimace. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She smiles, though it looks forced, before she takes a deep breath and whispers, “So…how do you feel about this?”
Excellent question. If only it were that easy to dissect my feelings for the guy who broke me.
My face scrunches with indecision before I mutter, “I don’t know what to feel.”
“Do you like him? Could you like him?”
“Of course, I like him, Skye. I love him. Loved,” I correct myself as I squeeze my hands into tight fists at my sides. “But that doesn’t mean I trust him. How can I after he left me l
ike that? All of our plans––our dreams––just…gone. Poof. In the blink of an eye. And now, he’s back, and he has a freaking kid. What am I supposed to do about that?”
Her shoe taps against the floor, her finger matching its rhythm against her thigh as she lets the question marinate for a minute while looking more alive than she has since Liam left. Well, other than the night we got wasted and created the Slytherin4ever account, anyway. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she does need the distraction.
“Hmm…,” she hums. “Has he made a move or anything? Or do you only know any of this because he opened up to a random girl on a dating app? I mean…that’s a little weird, right?”
“Yeah. Super weird. And no, he hasn’t really tried anything with me personally. We’ve talked a few times. But every time he’s approached me, I end up biting his head off for something. It’s not like he’s really had a chance to do anything anyway, ya know?”
“Do you want to give him a chance to do anything? To ask you out, or apologize, or maybe buy you a coffee or something?”
“I don’t know what I want anymore,” I admit, though our conversations through the dating app rear their ugly heads as I actually consider what I would do if he tried anything with me. It’s been nice talking to him. Connecting with him. Letting down my walls under the guise of a fake revenge plan. Until I remember that he isn’t talking to Saylor. He’s talking to Slytherin4ever. But who’s fault is that? Is it mine because I created the profile in the first place? Or is it his because he broke my heart and expects me to forgive him for it?
In small circles, I massage my temples and close my eyes. “I hate him, Skye.”
“Yeah, but you love him too.”
My teeth dig into my lower lip, but I don’t bother to argue. There’s nothing I can say.
With a sigh, she hooks her arm through mine, then guides me to the teacher’s lounge. “Come on. Let’s get this meeting over with and start the day. We’ll dissect your current predicament when we get home tonight. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“Good.”