Birthday Girl

“Get out of here!” Cole yells, throwing out his arms. “Go!”

/> Sweat glistens across Pike’s brow, and he looks at me with the same eyes he had the night we first slept together. When I straddled him on my bed, and he gazed up at me, giving in and giving me everything he had.

Everything else around us disappears. He grinds his fists at his sides, and his body is rigid, like he’s about to charge me and pull me into his arms and carry me away.

“You two?” I hear Cole say.

I blink, Pike drops his gaze, and the spell is broken. Cole stands between us, looking back and forth at us as people slowly disperse, and I see him start to connect the dots with the way we were just looking at each other.

“Jordan?” Cole nudges for me to say something, but I just lower my gaze, unable to look at him.

Pike swallows, breathing shallow. “Cole—”

“Oh, fuck you,” Cole tells him, cutting him off and backing away.

Pike takes a step but Cole spins around and charges away, out of the yard and down the street.

Pike doesn’t follow. He knows his son at least as well as I do, and Cole won’t hear anything tonight. And what would Pike say to make it better anyway? Damage is done.

Pike stands there, staring after Cole and looking like the life has been sucked out of him. What does he have now?

Pulling out my keys, I head down the porch stairs and walk to my car, not stopping or hesitating as I pass Pike Lawson.

And he doesn’t follow me, either.

I now know he meant what he implied last night. I’m not worth it.

I know everything is a mess, I type on my phone. Please know it wasn’t about revenge. It just happened, and I’m sorry.

I’ve been staring at my phone for twenty minutes, trying to figure out what to say to Cole. I’m logging off social media and only talking to my sister and select few others for a while. I need space and quiet. I just didn’t want to go silent without something.

I’m not sorry it happened, but I am sorry if it hurt him. I reasoned with myself that he cheated on me, and I don’t owe him anything.

But I don’t want it to end like this. I’m fine with leaving. I’m fine with not seeing him right now.

I just needed him to know…. It wasn’t about him.

Do you love him? His reply pops up.

Needles prick the back of my throat, and I press the Power button on the side of my phone, shutting it down.

I force the lump down my throat and stuff the phone in the side pocket of my bag and zip it up, closing my eyes to push back the tears.

Shel enters the liquor room where I’m standing in front of a stack of beer crates, and instead of handing me my paycheck she went to go get, she takes a wad of cash and slips it into my bag without letting me see it.

After I crashed at my sister’s again last night, I came here today to collect my pay before leaving. But judging by the stack of bills she just hid in my bag, she no doubt slipped me a lot more than what I’d earned.

If I fight her, it would just be a waste of energy. I make a mental note to work extra hours when I come back. Whenever that is.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, resting her hand on her hip and peering at me.

“I don’t know.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighs, and I pull my bag up, swinging it over my shoulder.