I let out a whoosh of air in relief. I'd been afraid she was going to announce she was getting a tongue stud or maybe a tattoo. Or maybe that she was running away from home and joining the circus. “That's great,” I said. “What kind of a program are you in?”

“It's just general right now,” my mother said. “But someday I'd like to be a nurse. I always thought I'd make a good nurse.”

IT WAS ALMOST twelve when I got back to my apartment. The adrenaline high was gone, replaced by exhaustion. I was full of cupcakes and milk and I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. I took the elevator and when the doors opened on my floor I stepped out and stood statue still, barely believing my eyes. Down the hall, in front of my door, sat Eddie DeChooch.

DeChooch had a huge wad of towel held to his head with his belt, the buckle jauntily placed at his temple. He looked up when I walked toward him, but he didn't get to his feet and he didn't smile or shoot me or say hello. He just sat there staring.

“You must have a beaut of a headache,” I said.

“I could use an aspirin.”

“Why didn't you just let yourself in? Everyone else does.”

“No tools. You need tools to do that.”

I pulled him to his feet and helped him into my apartment. I sat him down in my comfy living room chair and hauled out the half-empty bottle of hooch Grandma had left hidden in my closet from an overnight stay.

DeChooch chugged three fingers and got some color back into his face.

“Christ, I thought you were gonna carve me up like a Sunday goose,” he said.

“It was close. When did you come around?”

“When you were talking about getting through the ribs. Jesus. Makes my balls crawl just remembering it.” He took another hit on the bottle. “I got out of there as soon as the two of you went down the stairs.”

I had to smile. I booked through the kitchen so fast I didn't even notice DeChooch was gone. “So what's up now?”

He slouched back into the chair. “I rode around for a while. I was gonna take off, but my head hurts. She shot half the ear away. And I'm tired. Jeez, I'm tired. But you know what? I'm not so depressed. So I figure, what the hell, let's see what my lawyer can do for me.”

“You want me to bring you in.”

DeChooch opened his eyes. “Hell no! I want Ranger to bring me in. I just don't know how to get in touch with him.”

“After all I've been through, I at least deserve the collar.”

“Hey, what about me? I only got half an ear!”

I did a large sigh and called Ranger.

“I need help,” I said. “But it's a little strange.”

“It always is.”

“I'm here with Eddie DeChooch, and he doesn't want to be brought in by a girl.”

I could hear Ranger laughing softly at the other end.

“It's not funny,” I said.

“It's perfect.”

“Are you going to help me out here, or what?”

“Where are you?”

“My apartment.”

This wasn't the sort of help I'd anticipated, and it didn't seem to me the bargain should hold. Still, you never knew with Ranger. For that matter, I wasn't entirely sure he'd ever been serious about the price for aid.

Tags: Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum Mystery
Source: readsnovelonline.net