“As long as there's no obligation,” my mother said.
I needed chocolate. A lot of cho
colate. “Oh gee,” I said, “look at the time. I have to go.”
“Cool,” Mooner said. “Are we going to fight crime now? I've been thinking I need a utility belt for my Super Suit. I could put all my crime-fighting gear in it.”
“What crime-fighting gear are you talking about?”
“I haven't totally thought it through, but I guess things like anti-gravitation socks that would let me walk up the sides of buildings. And a spray that would make me invisible.”
“You sure your head feels okay where you were shot? You don't have a headache or feel dizzy?”
“No. I feel fine. Hungry, maybe.”
A LIGHT RAIN was falling when Mooner and I left Tina's shop.
“That was a total experience,” Mooner said. “I felt like a bridesmaid.”
I wasn't sure what I felt like. I tried bride on for size and found it didn't fit as well as big fat dope. I couldn't believe I let my mother talk me into trying on wedding gowns. What was I thinking? I smacked myself on the forehead with the heel of my hand and grunted.
“Dude,” Mooner said.
No shit. I turned the key in the ignition and shoved Godsmack into the CD player. I didn't want to think about the wedding fiasco, and there's nothing like metal to wipe your mind clean of anything resembling thought. I pointed the car in the direction of Mooner's house and by the time we got to Roebling, Mooner and I were doing serious head banging.
We were strumming and flipping hair and I almost missed the white Cadillac. It was parked in front of Father Carolli's house, next to the church. Father Carolli is as old as dirt and has been in the Burg for as long as I can remember. It would make sense that he and Eddie DeChooch were friends, and that DeChooch would come to him for counsel.
I said a short prayer that DeChooch was inside the house. I could apprehend him there. Inside the church was another matter. There was all that sanctuary stuff to worry about inside the church. And if my mother found out I violated the church there'd be hell to pay.
I walked to Carolli's front door and knocked. No answer.
Mooner waded through the shrubs and peered into a window. “Don't see anybody in here, dude.”
We both looked to the church.
Drat. Probably DeChooch was giving confession. Forgive me, Father, because 1 snuffed Loretta Ricci.
“Okay,” I said, “let's try the church.”
“Maybe I should go home and put my Super Dude Suit on.”
“Not sure that would be right for church.”
“Not dressy enough?”
I opened the door to the church and squinted into the dim interior. On sunny days the church glowed with light streaming through the stained-glass windows. On rainy days the church felt bleak and without passion. Today the only warmth came from a few votive candles flickering in front of the Virgin Mary.
The church seemed empty. No mumbling coming from the confessionals. No one at prayer. Just the candles burning and the smell of incense.
I was about to leave when I heard someone giggle. The sound was coming from the altar area.
“Hello,” I called. “Anyone here?”
“Just us chickens.”
It sounded like DeChooch.
Mooner and I cautiously walked down the aisle and peeked around the altar. DeChooch and Carolli were sitting on the floor, their backs to the altar, sharing a bottle of red wine. An empty bottle lay on the floor a couple feet away.