DeChooch eased out my front door with the gun pointed at Valerie and me. “Don't follow me,” he said, “or I'll shoot you.”
Valerie's knees wobbled and she sat down hard on the floor.
I waited a couple beats before going to the door and looking out, down the hall. I believed DeChooch about the shooting part. When I finally checked the hall DeChooch was nowhere to be seen. I closed and locked my door and ran to the window. My apartment is at the back of the building, and my windows overlook the parking lot. Not especially scenic, but handy for checking out fleeing crazy old men.
I watched DeChooch leave the building and take off in the white Cadillac. The police were looking for him and I was looking for him and he was riding around in the white Cadillac. Not exactly the stealth felon. So why weren't we able to catch him? I knew the answer on my side. I was inept.
Valerie was still on the floor, still looking pale.
“You might want to rethink the bounty hunter thing,” I suggested to Valerie. Maybe I should rethink it, too.
VALERIE RETURNED TO my parents' house to locate her Valium, and I called Ranger back.
“I'm going to bail on this case,” I said to Ranger. “I'm going to hand it off to you.”
“You don't usually bail,” Ranger said. “What's the deal here?”
“DeChooch is making me look like an idiot.”
“And?”
“Dougie Kruper is missing and I think his disappearance is somehow tied to DeChooch. I'm worried that I'm endangering Dougie because I keep screwing up with DeChooch.”
“Dougie Kruper was probably abducted by aliens.”
“Do you want to take the case, or what?”
“I don't want it.”
“Fine. The hell with you.” I hung up and stuck my tongue out at the phone. I grabbed my bag and my rain jacket and stomped out of my apartment and down the stairs.
Mrs. DeGuzman was in the lobby. Mrs. DeGuzman is from the Philippines and doesn't speak a word of English.
“Humiliating,” I said to Mrs. DeGuzman.
Mrs. DeGuzman smiled and bobbed her head like one of those dogs people put in their car rear window.
I got into the CR-V and sat there for a moment thinking things like, Prepare to die, DeChooch. And, No more Ms. Nice Guy, this is war. But then I couldn't figure out how to find DeChooch, so I did a quick run to the bakery.
It was close to five when I got back to my apartment. I opened my door and stifled a shriek. There was a man in my living room. I took another look and realized it was Ranger. He was sitting in a chair, looking relaxed, thoughtfully watching me.
“You hung up on me,” he said. “Don't ever hang up on me.”
His voice was quiet, but as always the authority was unmistakable. He was wearing black dress slacks, a long-sleeved lightweight black sweater pushed up on his forearms, and expensive black loafers. His hair was cut very short. I was used to seeing him in SWAT dress with long hair, and I hadn't immediately recognized him. I guess that was the point.
“Are you in disguise?” I asked.
He watched me without answering. “What's in the bag?”
“An emergency cinnamon bun. What are you doing here?”
“I thought we might make a deal. How bad do you want DeChooch?”
Oh boy. “What did you have in mind?”
“You find DeChooch. If you need help bringing him in you call me. If I succeed in the capture, you spend a night with me.”
My heart stopped beating. Ranger and I had been playing this game for a while now, but it had never been articulated in quite this way.