I got out of the car and walked to the door, and Lula followed. I was about to knock when the door was wrenched open, and Mary Lee glared out at me. She had short brown hair that looked like it had been styled with an electric mixer. She was fifty-two according to her bond papers. She was a couple inches shorter than me and a couple pounds heavier.
'What?' she asked.
'Yow!' Lula whispered to me.
I introduced myself and gave Mary Lee the routine about getting rebonded.
'I can't go with you,' she wailed. 'Look at my hair! I used to be so good with hair, but lately I can't do anything with this mess.'
'I use conditioner on mine,' Lula said. 'Have you tried that?'
We both looked at Lula's hair. It was orangutan orange and the texture of boar bristles.
'How about a hat?' I said.
'A hat,' Mary Lee sobbed. 'My hair's so bad I need a hat!' Mary Lee's face got red, and she stripped her T-shirt off. 'God, it's hot in here.' She was in her bra, sweating, and fanning herself with her shirt.
Lula put her finger to the side of her head and made circles. The international sign for hats in her belfry.
'I saw that!' Mary Lee said, eyes narrowed. 'You think I'm nuts. You think the big fatso is nuts!'
'Lady, you just took your shirt off,' Lula said. 'I used to do that but I made money on it.'
Mary Lee looked at the shirt in her hand. 'I don't remember taking it off.'
Mary Lee's face wasn't red anymore, and she'd stopped sweating, so I took the shirt and tugged it over her head. 'I can help you,' I said. 'I know just what you need.' I rummaged through my shoulder bag, found my baseball cap, and clapped it onto her head and tucked most of her hair in. I did a fast walk through the house to make sure it was locked up and Mary Lee hadn't accidentally put the cat in the oven, and then Lula and I steered Mary Lee out of the house and into the car.
Five minutes later I had Mary Lee standing in front of the doughnut case at the bakery.
'Okay, take a deep breath and look over all the doughnuts,' I told her. 'Look at the strawberry doughnut with the rainbow sprinkles. Doesn't it make you happy?'
Mary Lee smiled at the doughnut. 'Pretty.'
'And the meringue that looks like a fluffy cloud. And the birthday cakes with the pink and yellow roses. And the chocolate cream pie.'
'This is very relaxing,' Mary Lee said.
I called Connie's cell phone. 'Are you still at the courthouse?' I asked her. 'I'm bringing Mary Lee Truk in and we're going to want to bond her out right away before she gets another hot flash.'
'I hate to break into the moment,' Marjorie Lando said. 'But what'll it be?'
'A dozen assorted doughnuts to go,' I told her.
Lula dropped me off in front of the bonds office. 'That wasn't so bad,' she said. 'We helped two lost souls today. That's real good for my horizon expanding and positive karma stockpile. Usually we just piss people off, and that don't do me any good in the karma department. And it's only five o'clock. I got plenty of time to get to rehearsal. See you tomorrow.'
'See you tomorrow,' I said, and I waved Lula away and beeped my car open. I was driving a black and white Mini Cooper that I'd gotten from Honest Dan the Used Car Man. The interior space was a little cozy for carting bad guys off to jail, but the car had been the right price, and it was fun to drive. I slid behind the wheel and jumped when someone knocked on the driver's side window.
It was the woman dressed in black. She was young, maybe early twenties. And she was pretty in a normal kind of way. She had thick wavy brown hair that fell to her shoulders, blue eyes under long lashes, and full lips that looked like they could easily go pouty. She was maybe five feet five inches and had a nice shape with round breasts stretching the fabric of her black T-shirt.
I started the car and rolled the window down. 'You wanted to speak to me?' I asked the woman.
The woman looked in the window. 'You're Stephanie Plum?'
'Yes. And you would be…'
'My name is Carmen Manoso,' she said. 'I'm Ranger's wife.'
My stomach went into a free fall. If I'd been hit in the head with a baseball bat, I wouldn't have been more stunned. I suppose I had to assume there were women in Ranger's life, but I'd never seen any women. There'd never been mention of any women. And there had never been evidence of any women. Much less a wife! Ranger was a very sexy guy, but he was also a lone wolf.