We crossed the lobby and trailed after Scooter into the new addition to the rambling funeral home. 'We'll use treatment room number two,' Scooter said. 'Number one is occupied.'
Bernie and I peeked into the room. Tilt-top stainless steel grooved table. Slight odor of formaldehyde. Carts filled with instruments best not seen in the light of day.
'This is an embalming room!' Bernie said.
'Isn't it wonderful?' Scooter said. 'State-of-the-art. And it has excellent light. Sit on the little stool by the table, and I'll get my razor. I've gotten used to working on people who are horizontal, so this will be a fun experience.'
'Oh fuck,' Bernie whispered. 'Get me out of here!'
'Chill,' I told him. 'He's going to shave your head, not drain your body fluids. It's not a big deal. And when he's done I bet he'll give you a cookie.'
'I guess congratulations are in order,' I said to Scooter when he got into position behind Bernie. 'Sounds like you've got a full house. Mrs Kessman and Mr Stanko. And a third body in prep.'
'The third body is just a holdover. It's poor Carmen Manoso. They autopsied her and released her, but we can't ship the body until Thursday. I had some free time, so I was trying to get her prettied up a little. Not much you can do to someone who's had their brain surgically removed, not to mention has a big bullet hole in the head, but I did what I could to soften it for her parents in case they open the casket.'
Carmen Manoso! And she was hanging out with nothing to do until Thursday.
'She needs a viewing,' I said to Scooter.
'Excuse me?'
'She's famous. The Burg loves a murder. You won't be able to shoehorn all the mourners in. You'll have to give out tickets like at the bakery.'
'I don't know. I'd have to check with her parents.'
'She doesn't belong to her parents. She belongs to her husband.'
'The murderer?'
'He's still her husband. And I bet he'd want her to have a viewing.'
'Interesting,' Scooter said. 'I'd have to bake a lot of cookies.'
I called Ranger on the special cell phone. 'You're not going to believe this… I'm at the funeral home on Hamilton, and they've got Carmen here.'
'Should I ask what you're doing at the funeral home?'
'No. It's not important. The important thing is, Carmen is here and isn't getting shipped off to Virginia until Thursday And I thought since you're her husband you might want to hold a viewing so her friends and relatives who might be in the area could see her one last time.'
'Gruesome but clever,' Ranger said. 'Let me talk to whoever is in charge.'
I passed the phone over to Scooter.
'Is this Mr Manoso?' Scooter asked. 'The husband of the deceased?'
Stephanie Plum 12 - Twelve Sharp
Thirteen
'Run this by me again,' Lula said. 'You took Bernie Brown to the funeral home to get his head shaved?'
'Yes. And it worked out great. And I checked him in at the courthouse after he got shaved, and he's already bonded out again.'
'And while you were at the funeral home, you ran into Carmen Manoso?'
'Yep. She was passed on to the funeral home for transport back to Virginia. Only they can't do it until Thursday.'
'And while you were there, Ranger called in and arranged for her to have a viewing?'