“Yeah, but I’m mean and ferocious. I’m like a wolverine.”
“I want to know more about the money,” I said to Grandma. “Where did you get the money?”
“I found it fair and square.”
“How much money are we talking about?”
“I don’t know exactly. I kept losing my place when I was counting, but I figure it’s close to a million.”
Everyone stopped eating and looked at Grandma.
“Did you report it to the police?” I asked her.
“I thought about it, but I decided it wasn’t police business. I came out of the bakery, and I saw a rainbow. And I was walking home, looking at the rainbow, and I fell over the bag with the money in it.”
“And?”
“And it was St. Patrick’s Day. Everybody knows if you find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow on St. Patrick’s Day, it’s yours.”
“That’s true,” Lula said. “She’s got a point.”
“I always wanted to see the country, so I took some of the money, and I bought myself an RV,” Grandma said. “And this here’s my first stop.”
“You can’t drive,” I said to Grandma. “Your license was revoked.”
“That’s why I hired Randy,” Grandma said. “I got a real good deal on the RV because it used to be owned by a little person. The driver’s seat is all set up. Soon as I saw it, I thought of Randy. I remembered when you two were on that case with the elves.”
“They weren’t elves,” I told Grandma. “They were little people trucked in from Newark. And you can’t keep this much money.”
“I’m not keeping it,” Grandma said. “I’m spending it.”
“There are rules. You have to report it, and then wait a certain amount of time before it becomes yours. And you probably have to pay taxes.”
I couldn’t believe I was saying all this. I sounded like my mother.
“That doesn’t apply here,” Grandma said. “This is lucky money.”
“Guess that’s why you won the twelve dollars,” Lula said.
“You should take some money,” Grandma said. “I got plenty.” She looked over at Briggs. “Give everyone one of them bundles.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said to Grandma. “Suppose someone puts in a claim and you have to give the money back?”
“That’s the beauty of it,” Grandma said. “This here’s not ordinary money. It’s lucky money. You use it to win more money. So there’ll always be money if we need it.”
“You’ve been gambling for four hours and you’ve only won twelve dollars!”
“It took me a while to get my rhythm, but I’m hot now,” Grandma said.
“Are you sure the money doesn’t belong to the little man in the green pants?”
“I asked him how much was in the bag, and he didn’t know. He’s a common thief. He must have seen me find it, and now he wants to steal it.”
“He followed us out of the Burg this morning,” Briggs said. “Least, I think it was him. It was some little guy in a white Toyota.”
I looked around. “Is he here?”
“I haven’t seen him,” Briggs said. “I lost him when I got into traffic after I turned off the parkway.”