I pulled the necklace out of my pocket and gave it to Diesel. “I guess this means you don’t want to make a baby.”
“Rain check,” Diesel said.
I heard the television turn on in the living room, and I stuck my head in to see what was going on. Carl and Cat were on the couch, and Carl was scrolling through the guide.
“Is he a Normal monkey?” I asked Diesel.
Diesel chugged half a bottle of water. “I don’t know. What’s he watching? Lifetime? Disney? Fox?”
“He’s trying to buy porn.”
“Good for him,” Diesel said.
“Don’t encourage him. Maybe you’re not father material after all. Maybe I need to go out and find someone else.” I looked at my watch. “It’s too early to troll the bars. I guess I could try my luck at the mall or a supermarket.”
Diesel finished his water and pitched it into the recycle bin. “You’re not serious.”
“Of course I’m serious. I’m not getting any younger. If I don’t hurry up, all my good eggs will be gone, and I’ll be left with only second-rate eggs.”
“This is even more bizarre than the food obsession and the hanky panky spanky,” Diesel said. “I need to get some distance between you and the charm. I can’t let you see my safe place, because it would put you at risk with Wulf. You’re going to have to stay here. I’ll only be gone a half hour. You have to promise not to go out alone.”
“Sure,” I said. “But then you have to help me with the baby making.”
“Deal.”
Diesel locked the door on his way out, and I joined Carl and Cat on the couch. Carl had given up on adult movies and settled on a ball game. I think baseball on television is like watching grass grow. I was moments away from falling off the couch in a stupor when Glo called.
“I’ve got it. I know this is it,” Glo said. “I found a reverse spell for Shirley.”
“And?”
“And I need you to come take a look at it. Clara isn’t here. She went to the bank. And anyway, I don’t know if she’s a good judge of spells. You’re an Unmentionable. You must sense some of these things.”
“Actually, no.”
“Well, you’re all I’ve got.”
“Can you read it over the phone?”
“No! What if there’s something wrong with it. I could blow a fuse and shut down the entire Northeast grid.”
I hung up and wrote a letter to Diesel explaining the emergency. I taped the letter to the door and told Carl to make sure Diesel saw it. I grabbed my purse, went to the front door, and hesitated. I’d promised Diesel I wouldn’t go off on my own.
“Only one thing to do,” I said to Cat. “You have to come with me.”
Twenty minutes later, we were at the bakery. Glo was waiting with Ripple’s book lying open on the glass case, and her broom was propped against the wall behind her. She was dressed all in black, and she had a shiny gold star stuck to her forehead.
“It’s Cat 7143!” she said. “What a cool surprise.”
Cat jumped onto the glass case and sat back on his haunches so Glo could scratch his neck.
“What’s with the star on your forehead?” I asked her.
“I got the idea when I was at Office Depot yesterday. Clara asked me to stop and get paper for the printer, and I saw these stars. You know, it’s all about accessorizing.”
“That’s so true.”
“And you can’t go wrong with gold.”