“No.”
“Your loss,” Diesel said.
“What about the forbidden Unmentionable joining thing?”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t get naked and ogle each other.”
“Wouldn’t that be frustrating?”
“Honey, every moment I spend with you is frustrating.”
I wasn’t sure if that was hot frustrating or annoying frustrating, and I didn’t want to ask.
“Both,” Diesel said. “And you need to get out of those wet clothes. You’re starting to look pruney.”
I ran upstairs, grabbed dry clothes, and jumped into the shower. I was halfway through shampooing my hair and the water turned cold.
“Damn!”
Ten minutes later, my hair was dry, I was dressed in sweats and shearling boots, and I’d replaced the soaked gauze with a couple giant Band-Aids. I stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Cat, Carl, and Diesel were working their way through the box of cupcakes.
“You used all the hot water,” I said to Diesel.
“Wrong,” Diesel said. “I didn’t have any hot water.”
“Well then what happened to all the hot water?”
Diesel turned the tap on and waited for it to get warm. “How old is your water heater?” he asked.
“It came with the house. It looks pretty old.”
We went down to the cellar and looked at the water heater. It was completely rusted out and leaking water.
“I’m no plumber,” Diesel said, “but I know a dead water heater when I see one.”
He turned the water off, and I mopped the floor with some old towels.
“I can’t afford a new water heater,” I said. “It’s not in my budget.”
Diesel looked at the sagging overhead beams and the crumbling foundation. “You have bigger problems than a water heater.”
“I know. I need the money from the cookbook. It’s my only hope of fixing the house.”
“How close are you to finishing your book?”
“I’m almost done, but that’s not my problem. My problem is selling the darn thing.”
Diesel followed me back to the kitchen. “I can get you a water heater, but I can’t solve your more serious issues. Unlike Wulf, I don’t have unlimited funds at my disposal. I don’t draw a salary on this job.”
“You work for free?”
Diesel got a soda from the fridge. “I have everything I need.” His eyes held mine for a beat. “Almost everything.”
Carl jumped from the counter to the floor and farted. So much for the sexy moment, I thought. Saved by monkey gas.
“Dude,” Diesel said to Carl. “You need to lay off the cheese.”
The phone rang. Diesel answered and passed it to me. “It’s your mother.”