I didn't expect an apology from him, let alone one to carry so much weight. This man surprised me every day. One minute he made my blood boil, the next he was the most encouraging person in my life. It physically hurt to see such anguish fill the depths of his beautiful eyes, but I knew in that moment I needed to stay strong. Otherwise, if I caved, then I’d be tolerating his heinous actions, and I couldn’t allow that. It would only give way for it to happen again in the future.
"Ria, please, say something." His voice cracked.
"Thank you for your apology, but it doesn't take away how you sabotaged me. I thought that’s why you were here, to apologize for
that, but you’re not even close to feeling bad about that.” I scoffed. “I thought you would understand more than anyone how important each competition is, what I need to do to achieve my dream. But you stripped it from me. You hardened me in mere seconds with your words and your actions, and I don't know if I could truly ever forgive you for what you did."
"I am not seeking forgiveness when it comes to the matter of the meet. There is motive behind it, and soon I hope you will understand why."
A disdainful huff rolled off my lips. The audacity of this man. My heart plummeted to the floor but I inhaled strength deep into my lungs and prayed for my next set of words to come out fierce.
"You've accomplished what you set out to do."
He stared straight at me.
"And what is that?"
I repeated the words he first said to me soon after I arrived at World Cup, though he used them in a different manner.
"I can't stand the sight of you."
Chapter Six
Sorrow sat heavy in every feature of Kova’s face. I’d say he was completely heartbroken and devastated—as he should be. His hand gave my thigh a little squeeze and his lips formed a thin, flat line. I shoved his touch off me and his face completely fell.
"I deserve your hate."
"You deserve my hate and all that comes with it. It's what you set out to do, isn't it? Make me hate you? So you got what you wanted."
He scrubbed his hands down his face. "No, not at first it was not. I do not know what I was thinking, what came over me, but it was not right and I am so, so sorry."
"You make no sense," I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking. I had a notion he still wasn’t talking about the meet and that set fire to my blood.
"This has never happened to me before and I do not understand what to make of it, malysh," he stressed. "I was ready—"
I held up my hand. "I do not want to ever hear you call me that name again."
He paled. "Adrianna." My name was a pained whisper on his tongue.
"I don’t understand anything either because you never express yourself. You're a very difficult man to follow."
"Do you not see how I cannot say what I want? I cannot," he urged, pointing to his chest. "It is too much of a risk."
I scoffed. "Bullshit. What risk? You mean speaking your thoughts honestly for once? So you can fuck me, but you can't talk to me? How does that make sense? How is talking a risk? Who am I going to tell?"
He pursed his lips and glanced to his right, dropping his head onto his arm. I tried desperately not to break my resolve, but it was difficult when it came to Kova. While my words were outlined in truth, his were contradicting or deceptive, but I knew what I needed to do to get him to open up.
I needed to touch him. He needed human contact.
Slipping my hands under his shirt, Kova jolted when my fingers glided along his tapered waist. I loved the indentations on his hips and ran my knuckles over them. The thought of my tongue mimicking the motion crossed my mind.
"You are blushing," he said in a rasped voice. "I would love to know what you are thinking about right now."
This fucking man and the way he stared at me. My heart raced a million miles a minute, and in this moment, I could forgive everything he did just from the way he looked at me.
But I wouldn't. I was on a mission to get him to express himself, to help me understand why he did what he did if I was truly ready like he claimed I was.
I continued my roaming until I'd touched the small of his back, and moved upward toward the center where his muscles flexed beneath my palms. I sat up and brought my chest to his, pressing myself to him. Kova angled his face down as his breath mingled with mine, our lips mere inches from touching. My stomach fluttered and I dragged my legs up the back of his thighs and wrapped them around his hips. Kova straightened and I removed my arms from beneath his shirt, coiling them instead around his broad shoulders. I scooted closer and my fingers threaded in his hair. All the while he hadn't laid a finger on me.