It wasn't long before my gaze shifted upward. Locking eyes with Kova, all air left my lungs. Sound faded, twinkling lights disappeared. Faces dissolved into thin air and all that was left was us. I couldn't stop staring at him. His eyes were on me, though uninterested, like he was looking through me. I swallowed back hard. I hated that look. It was one I knew all too well, given to me by my mom. It conveyed that I was as insignificant as a fly on a wall. It was a you don't matter look.
Kova was devastatingly handsome, and I despised that he had the ability to make me feel two inches tall while my heart pounded for him. I was enthralled with this man and I had no idea why. A man who purposely set out to hurt me knowing full well I couldn't fight back. An underhanded move that was meant to hurt me. When I let myself think about the intention behind Kova's decisions, it hurt me, but what killed me the most was that even after all he's done to me, I was still spellbound by him in an obscene way I couldn't comprehend. An equation that didn't make sense. I couldn't connect the dots the way I could a sequence on the balance beam. It confused me more than anything because my feelings exceeded an emotional level so high I wasn't experienced enough to grasp the severity of them.
Another few minutes on the microphone, and Dad had finally finished speaking. As Xavier helped me down the stairs, my friends headed my way.
"Incoming, ten o'clock," Avery said from the side of her mouth. Hayden scowled under his breath when he spotted Kova and Katja as they made their way over to our small group. He walked to stand near me and placed his hand at the small of my back.
"Konstantin, glad to see you could make it," Dad said with a handshake. He moved to kiss Katja's cheek. "Katja, stunning as always."
My mother stiffened and dragged her sharp eyes down Katja’s body. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have said Mom was envious of her, or intimidated, but that was ridiculous. Joy Rossi envied no one.
"Frank, forever a pleasure," Katja said with a husky lilt of her Russian accent.
"Yes, as always," Mom purred and plastered on a phony smile, her deceptive tone didn't slip past me. "Lovely dress. You and my daughter have the same taste."
Katja turned my way and I scowled at the wrong time. Confusion filled her eyes. No, my mom wasn’t jealous, she was just a bitch. She thought we both looked like sluts, meanwhile she looked like a suffocating uppity housewife. I wasn't sure which was worse.
Ignoring the backhanded compliment, Katja said, "Thank you for the invite."
"Please, make yourself at home. If you need anything let me know. Excuse me, but I need to speak with the caterer." Mom quickly left.
Kova turned his attention toward me, Hayden, and Holly, though not really looking at me. "I expect to see all three of you the day after tomorrow? Yes?"
We nodded in unison.
"Fantastic," he said, not daring to look in my eyes. He acted as if I wasn't even here.
"Will you be staying in our guest house?" Dad asked. He took a sip of his bourbon. Like father, like son, I thought.
"No, we need to be on the road early to be back at the gym, so we have occupied a hotel for the night. But thank you for the offer," Kova said.
"You know my house is your house anytime, Konstantin. Anything you need, let me know."
"Ah, your gratitude knows no bounds. Thank you."
"Which hotel will you be staying at?" Dad asked, taking another sip. I figured it was a good time for us to leave, but I wasn't sure how to make that happen. We all stood there so awkwardly since we weren't involved in the conversation. I shot a glance at Avery hoping she'd catch my drift, but she was staring off into space. I glanced in her direction and frowned, wondering what she was thinking about, or who she was looking at, but nothing caught my eye.
"It was one your wife suggested." Kova looked at Katja and he tugged her closer to him. His fingers pressed into her hips and I glanced away. "Which one was it, malysh?"
Malysh.
My eyes slowly closed, the organ caged behind my ribs pricked by his choice of endearment. Hearing Kova use the one and only word for Katja I begged him not to was a direct punch to the gut. He promised me he wouldn't call her that anymore. He looked me right in the eye and promised. Then he turned around and did it in front of me, knowing full well I couldn't say a word.
Something inside me died a little. I wanted to sink to my knees and hug myself. His apology, his words, they were nothing but hollow letters that held no weight. I was starting to think it was impossible for him to be faithful to anyone. The only thing he seemed loyal to was gymnastics, and himself.
"The Four Seasons," Katja answered. Kova's wide spread hand glided affectionately to her lower stomach as she spoke to Dad. He tugged her closer, her heavy breasts pressed into his chest. Kova looked at them. His eyes trained on the rise and fall of her chest with each word and breath she took. She was about to spill over her scoop neck dress.
"My wife?" Dad said.
"Yes. When I spoke to your wife she suggested the hotel," Katja said, her Russian accent just as strong as Kova's.
He sipped his bourbon. "Huh."
I cleared my throat, this was getting boring. "Dad, we're going to walk around. See you later."
Dad dipped his chin, then reached out to kiss my forehead. "No more champagne," he said, loud enough for the group to hear. I pulled back with wide, guilty eyes. My ears hot with embarrassment. "I can smell it on your breath. That's the last thing I want your mother to find out." I nodded, unable to find the right words. Dad wasn't disturbed I consumed alcohol, but I was surprised he could smell it.
"You look beautiful, now go have fun."