"For the record, you would never skimp on conditioning. That is not who you are. You are not lazy. That kind of mentality would only hurt you in the long run and you know that. You always, always go the extra mile, even when you should not, but it is impossible for you not to. It is why you are you."
I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth and reflected over his words. He was right about everything he’d said, but I wasn't going to respond. I didn't need to. We both knew the answer.
Slowly turning back around, I lowered my gaze to the floor as I made my way to bars. That was the most he'd spoken to me since I’d put my foot down. I may have allowed it, but somehow, I think he knew that was all the rope I'd give him.
The rest of the week he kept to himself. I trained. I slept. I trained. I ached all over. I barely slept. I trained. I had pounding headaches. I sank deeper into myself. I was so tired that I almost missed practice.
But I didn't. I sucked it
up and championed on. It’s what I did.
* * *
The energy in the room revived me, giving me life, washing away any kind of exhaustion I'd been dealing with over the past few weeks. Like a contagious beat to a song. Shivers ran down my arms, like little needles tickling me. I looked all around, turning in a circle, taking in every moment, every person I could see, breathing it into my lungs. I smiled. My dad was somewhere in the stands.
This was life. Gymnastics was life.
Today was the American Classic, my last meet before the National Qualifier. Today would determine if I got to compete in the U.S. Classic.
Inhaling a deep breath, I let everything go. I was invigorated, excited, and for once, not tired. I was probably on overdrive and didn't know it.
Yesterday after we arrived, we ran through our routines, doing light warm-ups. We didn't push it or do our full routines, just ran through the motions and adjusted to the equipment. I kept my focus on myself and didn't watch anyone else, just like I was doing now. I blocked everything out and compartmentalized my thoughts.
"Breathe in through your stomach," Madeline said, taking a deep breath and exhaling through her nose. I nodded, staring at the vault as I hopped on my toes to keep my muscles warm. "As long as you block hard and stay tight, you got this, Adrianna. Vault is yours. Open up when you come out of the half."
I nodded again, and bit the inside of my lip. Madeline walked away to speak with Holly. I had one of the most difficult vaults—the Amanar. My body had to rotate nine hundred degrees, get at least six feet off the vault table, and finish with a blind landing.
I had this. I wasn't worried. I was confident, but I wasn't cocky. I could do this vault in my sleep. I just had to get the mechanics of it and rely on muscle memory.
There was only one other vault so dangerous that it paralyzed a gymnast many years ago. Vault may be my specialty, but I wasn't looking to never walk again. I knew my limits.
Patting my hands in the chalk bowl, the powder filled my nostrils as I grabbed little clumps and broke them. I applied some of the chalk between my inner thighs and on the bottom of my feet to absorb any moisture.
I exhaled.
Walking toward the end of the walkway, Kova met up with me and we walked side by side. I kept my gaze on the floor, imagining my vault over and over. My hands formed into tight balls and flexed, and my fingers were a little cold.
"Stay tight, start low. Your body will know what to do once you are in the air."
Once we reached the end of the runway, I stepped into the small chalk box on the floor and added a little more to my feet. My heart was starting to pick up speed. I wasn't nervous, just anxious.
"Did you hear me?" Kova asked. I nodded. "Hey. Look at me." My eyes shot up to his. "You got this. Just release everything and trust yourself." I nodded again, serious.
After giving me a friendly pat on my shoulder, Kova walked away and only stopped when he got to the opposite end where my dismount would be. Our eyes locked and his chin dipped.
It was go time.
Swallowing, I looked at the judges. I stepped onto the runway mat behind the white tape and cracked my toes, standing on the tips of them. I focused on the vault, noting Kova in my peripheral vision. Black dress pants, royal blue polo club shirt, hands on hips.
While I was confident in what I was about to perform, his presence still comforted me.
I glanced at the judges table, waiting. They gave me the green light.
Quickly, I saluted them and a handful of seconds later I was running. My feet pounded into the floor, my heart filling with exhilaration as I neared the springboard. The adrenaline was a rush, speeding through me. It was addicting and I wanted to chase it.
This was another reason I loved gymnastics. I was free and wild. No one could slow me down.
Rounding off, feet locked together and slamming into the springboard, I reached back and flipped onto the vault, popping my shoulders hard and allowed my muscles to take over. Tight, I took flight as high as I possibly could reach and twisted two and a half times, then opened and landed.