I shook my head no.
“That is so not the way I want to die.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing as I took in his expression. He looked so serious.
Grabbing a package of shrimp from the freezer, I placed it in the cart. Caleb was still standing in front of the aquarium, now with a huge grin on his face. I walked over to stand beside him, curious to know what he found so amusing. I bit my lip as I saw one crab climb on top of another, their pincers joined together so I couldn’t even tell which pincer belonged to which crab.
“These are some kinky crabs.” Caleb laughed. “They’re doing it in front of us. Look! Exhibitionists, the lot of them.”
I tapped his shoulder. “Come on, pervert, or we’re never going to get out of here.”
I told him to pick whatever he wanted, and I’d come up with a way to cook it. He pulled stuff off shelves randomly and filled our cart.
“Get whatever you want,” he said, generous as ever. He pushed the cart into the cookies and chips aisle.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a box of chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting topped with glittery sprinkles that looked like they would melt in my mouth. I let out a sigh and continued walking past.
“Wait. I want some cupcakes,” Caleb announced, grabbing the box I was just eyeing.
I doubted he really wanted them. A guy that cut and lean didn’t eat sweets. He definitely saw me eyeing those cupcakes. Why was he being so nice? I was supposed to not like him. But he was just so…thoughtful.
An older woman wearing the store’s uniform was giving out samples of food. “Want to try some?” she asked.
“Sure, ma’am. Thank you.” Caleb politely reached for the small cookie in a cupcake wrapper she was holding out for him. “I’ll grab one for the lady, as well,” he added, motioning toward me.
The older woman smiled and asked me, “Chocolate, vanilla, or peanut butter?”
“She’ll want the peanut butter,” Caleb replied before I could. “It’s her favorite.”
I looked at him for a moment, surprised that he’d remembered. When I caught him looking back at me with a grin, I looked away.
I was just reaching for the cookie when he fished it out of the wrapper. My lips parted in surprise. He placed the treat in my open mouth, his thumb briefly making contact with my tongue. His index finger lingered on my bottom lip, rubbing it gently. His eyes became hooded as they watched me. They looked…hungry.
“Sorry, just some cream on your lip there,” he said, not sounding sorry at all.
I felt hot. I knew I was blushing. Embarrassed, I spun around and walked away.
By the time we were at the cashier, our cart was overflowing. This could feed a family of twenty, I thought. I turned away and hummed to myself when the cashier told him how much the bill was. I was scared to hear it.
By the time we hauled everything into his apartment, I was exhausted. Just looking at the number of bags on the counter made me shudder. There were even bags on the floor. Together, we worked to get everything put away.
My heart beat faster every time I caught him looking at me. Or when he accidentally grazed his hand against mine. We were both exhausted and hungry by the time we finished, so he ended up ordering pizza.
Something about the way he looked at me pulled at my heart. I didn’t like it. All of a sudden, I felt exposed and vulnerable. When the pizza came, I grabbed a slice and went back to my room.
I crossed my legs and sat on the floor beside my bed. Chewing my pizza, I tried to calm the knots in my stomach. I couldn’t let a boy into my life, so I decided to avoid Caleb after that. I made sure we never saw each other in the mornings or between the time I got home from my classes and left for my evening shift at the restaurant.
* * *
It was spring and the trees were lush, the grass fresh and green, and the flowers colorful and fragrant. I sat on the grass beside the building where my next class would be, appreciating the clear sky and the cool breeze that teased my skin. I heard the whiz of a dragonfly’s wings as it passed, landing on a red tulip. Through the windows in front of me, I watched as students walked with urgency, carrying their huge backpacks. Someone had left an eraser on the bench, and I picked it up, rolling it around my fingers.
He calls me Red all the time. I don’t think I’ve heard him say my name even once.
The more I told myself not to think about him, the more I did. So I thought of the way his green eyes crinkled at the corners and how they twinkled every time he laughed or said something funny or inappropriate. The way he looked at me—so focused on me, as if he was remembering everything. The warmth of his palm and the way his long fingers had curled around mine when we were at the lake.
I hated myself for thinking about him so much. Other than a word or two, it had been days since we last spoke. He hadn’t sought me out. Wasn’t that a big indication that I was just another pastime to him? He’d been bored that night we went to the lake, and I was conveniently there. I meant nothing to him.
I wished I could rub him out of my mind with the eraser. Frustrated, I flung it in the air—and froze when I heard a familiar laugh. The eraser fell to the ground as I spotted Caleb and his group of friends walking in my direction. He tipped his head back and laughed.