I was going to politely decline when an image of Red flashed in my mind again.
From the first moment I saw Red dance, I knew that I would have a hard time resisting her. Not that she tried to get my attention. If anything, she stayed away from me.
A sweet, honest compliment; a lingering, adoring look. A smile that hinted of secret pleasures to come; a fleeting, intimate touch to the back of her hand, her shoulder, or the small of her back. In my experience, these things always, always worked on girls.
They didn’t even penetrate the thick shield surrounding Red. I practically had to beg her to give me attention. But she’d only flicked me off like dirt from her sleeve, dusting her hands off for good measure.
It was humbling.
It was always a given that the girl I liked felt the same way. With Red, I felt unsure for the first time. It was messed up.
Maybe a night out with Lily was just what I needed. Maybe I needed to get back to my routine, back to my life before Red. Maybe then I would stop thinking about her.
“Sounds good. I’ll call you, Lil.”
She leaned close and kissed my cheek. “Can’t wait.”
But I didn’t call Lily.
Instead, I holed up in my room, flipping the sticky note Red had left on the fridge in my fingers. I stared at the ceiling as Radiohead crooned low in my ears about a creep, a weirdo, and what the hell was he doing here.
When I heard a noise, I pulled out my earbuds. Footsteps—I knew it was Red. She always walked quietly, warily, as if she was scared to make a sound. A few seconds later, I heard a door close. I quickly glanced at the clock and noted it was 7:00 p.m.
I jumped off my bed. I’d knock on her door, ask if she wanted to take another ride with me. But when I reached her door, my fist inches away from knocking, I stopped. Took a deep breath.
I knew Red was attracted to me. I could see the way her eyes lingered on me, the way she resisted smiling back. She was fighting it, and the last thing I wanted was to force myself on someone. So I retreated back to my room.
When my phone burped a text, it was from Lily.
LILY: Is it next time yet?
I blew out a breath and stared at my phone screen for a minute, debating whether I should go out with Lily or not. Red’s sticky note was on my bedside table, mocking me.
Fine. I’d forget Red tonight.
* * *
Lily was just my type. She was blond, blue-eyed, and sweet. I took her out to dinner. She laughed at all my jokes, agreed to everything I suggested, even asked me to come to her place after our date.
But when I walked her to her door, I politely declined her invitation to go inside, bid her good night, and left.
It wasn’t fair to her that I was thinking of a different girl.
How was it even possible to be obsessed with someone I’d just met?
Ridiculous.
With my temper simmering, I stepped on the gas and drove past the speed limit on the highway. Through the open window, the wind whipped my hair and slapped my face, taunting me.
When I reached the city, I pulled off the highway and parked my car in front of a twenty-four-hour store. I bought a big tub of peanut butter.
I remembered how her eyes had shone with delight when she spotted it at the grocery store.
I was so whipped.
By the time I got home, the lights were all off except for the one in the living room. I couldn’t help laughing as I
recalled that time she’d hit me with a baseball bat.