“Are you kidding me?” I panted.
I wanted to pull my hair out. The balls! I couldn’t believe how stupid I was. I was actually starting to believe him!
I searched for something else to throw at him, but there w
as nothing nearby, unless I could lift the fridge and drop it on top of his head. I snarled in frustration and turned to leave. I was leaving for good!
He grabbed my arm and whipped me around, my hands brushing against his chest as our bodies collided. I tried to twist away, but he grabbed my other arm, immobilizing me.
His face was contorted with anger and frustration as he glared at me and growled, “I’ve been walking on fucking eggshells around you. I can’t live like this. What do you want from me?”
I wanted to slap him, but he had my arms locked in his hands.
“Beatrice-Rose? Rain check?” I spat out. “You’re making a date seconds after you kissed me?”
His eyes turned stormy. “Beatrice-Rose is a childhood friend! She left school to go to Paris and just got back. She wanted to catch up. Why do you always think the worst about me?”
I groaned. I felt like an idiot. Unless he was lying again… I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Stop being a coward, and tell me what you feel. I am done with your games, Red,” he said angrily, his grip on my arms tightening.
And then his eyes turned soft. In a painful whisper he asked, “Do you want me or not?”
“I do, damn you!”
I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a punishing kiss. I kissed him because he put butterflies in my stomach, and I both loved and hated that feeling. I kissed him because he made me hope for something I thought was broken, something I thought I could never have. I kissed him because he was Caleb.
And because he could be my Caleb.
His big hands curled possessively on my shoulders before they glided down my back, pulling me against his hard body. I kissed him harder, biting his bottom lip. I heard his intake of breath, and that encouraged me to kiss him even harder. My fingers dug into his arms, taking everything he was giving me, and giving him more. Seeking out his tongue with mine, I tried to show him how I felt, since I couldn’t put anything into words.
His hands slipped inside my shirt, fingers seeking the skin just below my bra. My head was spinning, and I realized I needed to catch my breath. I placed my hands on his chest, pushing him back and stepping away. We were both breathing hard, as we always did after we kissed.
“I’m sorry, Caleb. This thing we have between us…it’s all so new. It’s terrifying me. Every time I want to give in to you, I stop myself. You make me feel like I can be happy with you. You make me feel like I can give you…everything. My mom gave everything to my dad, and he just…he just…” I was rambling.
“Come here,” Caleb said, his voice whisper soft.
I shook my head. I needed to get my feet back on the ground. I felt so unsteady.
I felt him move beside me, then touch my face so that I turned toward him. He leaned down and kissed my eyes, tasting my tears.
“You drive me batshit crazy.” He kissed my forehead, my cheek, my chin.
“I know. And you drive me just as crazy…as your dinner on the floor suggests.” I closed my eyes when he kissed my neck. “Caleb?”
“Hmm?”
“Wait. I want to talk.”
“Shh. We have all night. We’ll talk later,” he whispered, kissing my shoulder. “For now, let me just kiss you.”
I laughed nervously. “Okay.”
He kissed everything except my lips. I was straining for his lips on mine.
“Caleb, kiss me here…”
“Where?” he murmured.