He stares straight ahead, almost frozen.
“Do the children know?” I whisper.
“No. How could you ever tell your child that their mother killed herself because their father didn’t love her.”
I sniff as the tears roll down my face. “I’m so sorry.”
He kisses my temple. “Me, too.
Chapter Nineteen
“Are you going to watch the movie with us?” he asks me.
“Yes.”
It’s Sunday night. We’ve had the kids with us all day and haven’t had a moment alone.
He slowly brings his hand up to cup my face and my eyes close.
His touch is magic.
“I need to you to know how much I regret how I treated you at that dinner,” he whispers. “It’s playing on my mind.”
I nod. “I know.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know what came over me. I just handled the whole thing so badly.”
I watch him as he struggles with this conversation. “I know.”
His eyes search mine. “My children have to come first.”
“For me, too,” I whisper. “Their needs will come before mine or yours.”
Our eyes are locked, and I feel like I’m agreeing to a deal here. He wants me to secure his children’s happiness for him. How do I assure him of that?
Kiss me.
“This is harder than it should be,” he admits quietly. “I can think of nothing else but you.” He dusts his thumb over my bottom lip. “Promise me. Promise me that when we fall apart, you won’t leave them.”
Why is he so sure that we are going to fall apart?
I frown and nod before I can stop myself. “I promise that your children will always come first.”
His eyes drop to my lips, and my heart begins to race. Right on cue, we hear someone bounding down the stairs, and we jump back from each other. He goes to the fridge and gets out a bottle of wine as a cover.
Sammy comes into the kitchen. “Come on. Let’s watch the movie.” He disappears into the living room and I hear Willow and him talking. They get comfortable on their new beanbags, snuggled with their baby animals.
Julian comes up behind me and snakes his arms around my waist, pulling me back onto him aggressively.
“Go and change into a skirt,” he whispers into my ear. He nips my lobe and goosebumps ripple my skin.
What?
Holy fuck.
I walk into my room and start going through my wardrobe quickly. What the hell? I don’t even have a skirt that isn’t tight.
Shit. I think for a moment.