Spencer and Sebastian are by my side and we’re dressed in our black dinner suits.
It’s my wedding day.
The guilt I feel is heavy. After today Alina won’t be my wife anymore.
Brielle will.
I lean down and brush the dust from her name. I rearrange the pink lilies I’ve just placed in the vase. I touch her face in the small oval photo as she stares back at me, unblinking.
I step back, put my hands in the pockets of my suit, and I stare at her.
“You ready to go?” Spence asks.
“Yeah.” I murmur, distracted. “Give me a minute, will you?”
They both turn and walk back to the car, leaving me to and I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare at the headstone.
"I'm getting married today, Alina," I whisper through tears.
“I’m sorry that you didn’t get to find your true love.” I lift my gaze to look at the surrounding graves. “I’m sorry I couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved.” I close my eyes. “I’ve been punishing myself for it for years. You deserved so much better than who I am.” I frown. “Was,” I correct myself.
“I was so angry at you for killing yourself. For leaving the children.”
I smile. “They’re beautiful. You should see how much they’re flourishing.
You’d be so proud of the young people they have become.”
I drop my chin to my chest and frown. “I’ve been seeing a therapist who’s helped me see the error of my ways in all of this. It was never your fault.” I wince like I’m in physical pain as I push the words past my lips.
“I can’t live in the dark anymore, Alina,” I whisper. “She’s my light, my love, my soul mate. Her name is Brielle, and I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one. You’d like her, I know you would. She loves the children as if they were her own.”
I clench my jaw.
“But they’re your children, you’re their mother. You will always be their mother.”
I sniff as I stare at her photo. ; She stares back at me void of emotion, just …like she always did.
“They miss you.”
Tears fill my eyes again.
“I’m going to bring them to see you soon, I just haven’t been strong enough to do it yet.” I toe the dirt with my shoe. I regret so many things that I haven’t done to honour her memory.
“Thank you for giving me my children.” I screw up my face in pain and I swallow harshly, feeling the sting of it in my throat.
I turn to see Seb and Spence leaning on my car waiting for me.
And I know I have to do it., I have to say goodbye to my wife for the last time. Tomorrow, she will be the children’s mother, Brielle will be my wife.
I bend and brush my finger over her image, and then I kiss the cold, hard stone.
“Goodbye, Alina. Rest in peace, angel.”
Brielle
Julian rocks forward onto his toes in anticipation and I smirk, we are holding hands and facing each other as the Priest reads our marriage vowels. He can hardly wait until this ceremony is over and his eyes dance with mischief.
Who knew that Julian Masters would be so excited about getting married?