Bet I’m more fucked up than the lot of them.
The office door opens and a man appears. “Nathan Mercer?”
I stand. “Yes.”
“This way, please.” I follow him into his office, and he closes the door behind us. He holds his hand out to shake mine. “Elliot Hamilton.”
He’s mid to late forties, distinguished looking, and not what I was expecting at all.
Who it was that I was expecting, though, I’m not sure.
“Hello.” I nod. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”
He smiles and gestures to a leather chair. “Please, take a seat. When I got your call this morning, I shuffled around a few things to make it work.”
“I appreciate it.”
His eyes hold mine, and he sits back in his chair. His eyes are assessing, and he shuffles some papers in front of him.
“Tell me, what brought you here today, Nathan? May I call you Nathan?”
“Yes, of course.” I inhale deeply as I steel myself to say it out loud.
He gives me a calm smile as he fills the glass in front of me with water. “Take your time.”
“I’ve…” I pause as I try to push the words past my lips. “I’ve recently had an unwanted attraction to someone I…” I frown as I cut off my sentence.
“Someone you… what?”
“My best friend.”
“Ah.” He nods and sits back, as if understanding. “And this is distressing you?”
“Yes.” I nod. “Very much.”
“And you’ve never had any attraction to someone of the same sex before?”
“Oh.” I frown, realising what he thinks. “That’s not it.” I puff air into my cheeks. “My best friend is a woman.”
He frowns.
“I’m… usually with men.” I clench my jaw.
“So, you identify as a gay male?”
“No.”
His brow furrows. “How do you see yourself, Nathan?”
“Normal.” I shrug. “I don’t feel I need to label my sexuality.”
He nods. “I see.” He pauses for a moment. “You haven’t come out?”
“Yes and no. I had a long-term relationship when I was younger, and when we broke up everyone knew that we’d been together. I don’t hide being with men, but I don’t advertise it, either.” My eyes rise to meet his. “I’m a private person. My sex life is mine alone. I don’t feel the need to justify my choices. I am who I am. People can take it or leave it.”
“I see.” He smiles as if contemplating my answer. “And you’ve never been attracted to a woman before?”
“No.”