Our Way

“It bothers you?”

“Very much.”

“Why is that?”

I drop my head. “My best friend and I are very close. I can’t fuck this up

.”

He frowns. “And you think that if you told… I’m sorry, what is her name?”

“Eliza.”

“If Eliza found out, you think you would lose her?”

“One hundred percent.” I nod. “I know I would.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Just the last few days… but last night…” I frown, too ashamed to keep going.

“Go on, you are in a safe place. This is completely confidential.”

“Last night, she got drunk, and when we got home—”

“You live together?”

“Practically. I sleep with her every night.”

“In the same bed?” He frowns.

I nod.

He scribbles something down on his notepad. “We’ll come back to that. Tell me what happened last night.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I picture her. “She took off her dress and was wearing nothing but a G-string. And after she went to sleep, I touched myself looking at her.”

He rubs his pointer finger over his bottom lip. “Then, what happened?”

“I was disgusted with myself but I couldn’t stop. I was too aroused, too far gone, so I went into the bathroom and jerked off imagining I was with her.” My stomach rolls. “It was utterly…disgusting.”

“Why is that?”

“I betrayed her.” I hang my head in shame.

“How long has it been since you have been with a woman?”

“Never.”

He raises a brow. “I see.”

I clench my hands into fists. His silence is deafening. Fuck this, it isn’t helping. “I might just go.”

“We’re not finished.” He fires back without hesitation. “Tell me about your first sexual experience.”

I’m not telling him that shit, it’s private. “What does that have to do with Eliza?” I snap.

“Everything is connected. Do you want me to help you work this out?”