“This is Ben and Adrian,” he smiles to me, “they are friends of mine who work with me in America.” I smile and shake their hands. “And this is Natasha,” he smiles. He seems nervous and I see them glance at each other. Adrian comes forward. He’s athletic, tall and blond, immaculately groomed and dressed.
He holds his hand out. “Hello,” he smiles. I smile back as we shake hands. I feel comfortable instantly—he’s got a sort of honest quality about him. He looks at the other guy Ben as if to prompt him to shake my hand, but Ben is just staring at me. My eyes flick back to Adrian. Josh has turned around to talk to his brother. Adrian smiles and shakes his head, “He’s not used to seeing such a gorgeous woman.”
Ben snaps out of it, “Oh sorry, I was miles away.” He shakes my hand. “Nice to meet you” he says in a heavy accent.
I raise my eyebrows. “English?” I ask.
“No, South African.”
“Ahh,” I smile. “So you guys work with Josh?” I ask.
“Um,” Adrian laughs. “Ben is his bodyguard and I am his PA.”
“Ohh,” I smile. Slightly shocked. “Why does Josh need a bodyguard?” I ask.
They shoot each other a look. “Oh you know,” Adrian smiles. “Paparazzi and whatnot.”
“Ohh,” I answer as I nod, feeling stupid.
“So, Natasha,” Adrian asks, “what do you do?”
“I’m a clinical psychologist.”
They both look at each other again. “Oh god,” Adrian laughs. “Don’t psychoanalyse me, you’ll find out I’m crazy.”
I clink my glass to his. “You and me both. Don’t worry, I won’t tell if you don’t.” He giggles and hunches up his shoulders. I do like him. Joshua rejoins us. He has both hands in his suit pants and he still looks nervous. I can’t help it, I’m watching Ben and Adrian who are trying to communicate something to each other without speaking, something about Josh. My eyes turn back to Josh who’s watching me silently. Adrian smiles again and hunches his shoulders as if he’s excited about something. What’s going on here?
“Can I get you a drink?” Ben asks Josh.
“No thanks, I will wait till after the speeches.”
“Yeah right, good idea,” he smiles. Cameron, Josh’s little brother, comes over and grabs me from behind and kisses the back of my head. He’s over six foot so he’s not really so little. He has his hand around my waist as he addresses the boys. I see Josh’s gaze drop to where his hand is on my waist. He raises his eyebrows at Cameron who instantly removes his hand… what.
“So you boys have both met our beautiful cousin Natasha?” he smiles at Josh and winks. Josh narrows his eyes at him, huh, does he know? Holy crap, what the hell is going on? The look of total shock on Adrian’s and Ben’s faces is evident. They look at each other and then at Josh who bites his bottom lip and looks at me. Ok, now it’s obvious, Ben and Adrian know. Holy shit. What the hell has he said?
Cameron smiles and winks. “Just keeping it real, boys,” and he walks off. I want the ground to swallow me up. I am a total disaster. Josh has told his friends. I must look like a total slut. Holy fuck. I need a drink. Adrian and Ben stay silent, still wide–eyed. I go to walk off.
“Natasha,” Josh goes to grab my arm but Adrian stops him.
“Just leave it,” he whispers.
“Can I talk to you Tash?” Joshua asks me. Embarrassment hits, oh fuck. I scurry to the bar to find a drink. I scull my first glass of champers without even tasting it.
Bridget comes over and does a low whistle. “There is some talent in the house toniiiiight. The Stanton boys do associate with good–looking men.”
“Hmm, do they? I haven’t noticed.” This night could be the very death of me.
Dinner is finished and out of the way, a beautiful five–course banquet with no expense spared. Fairy lights are strewn all through the ceiling and the trees outside in the garden. Large candelabras with twelve candles adorn every table. The venue looks like a romantic fairy tale. Bridge and I are giggling at each other at the table. The tinkling of a teaspoon on a champagne glass brings the attention of everyone in the room. Ahh, the speeches. I smile at Bridge and take a sip of my champagne. Joshua is standing next to his brother at the bridal table, champagne glass in hand. Scott is sitting back in his seat smiling, maybe a little unsure of what his brother is going to reveal. Josh dips his head, as the crowd grows silent. He smiles a breathtaking smile. I’m weak from want of him.
“Hello everyone, on behalf of my family I would like to thank you all for coming to celebrate with us in the marriage of Scott and Alyssa.” He turns and holds his glass up to the two of them. “Firstly I would like to thank Scott for giving me the honour of standing up for him today. It means a lot to me Scott. Know that I love you.” The crowd gushes. Bridget looks at me with puppy dog eyes. I smile as I listen. His voice has changed. He sounds slightly different—he has an American accent. Not strong, but definitely there. My eyes are transfixed by the beautiful man standing up before us all. A man who is as dear to me as breath, a breath I hold as I listen closely. “Alyssa firstly to you. You are an incredible person. One, for putting up with him.” He raises his glass at Scott who shakes his head and the crowd laughs. “When Scott told me he was going to ask you to marry him, I asked the obvious question. Why? What in the hell do you want to do that for?” The crowd laughs again and he raises his ey
ebrows. “The answer he gave me however silenced me, forever. He told me he had found someone who loved him for no reason, and that gave him a reason to want to love her back.” The crowd gushes again, and he smiles as he raises his glass to Alyssa. “So to Alyssa, thank you for loving my brother for no reason.” The crowd giggles. “I only hope that my other brothers find the happiness that you both have found today. I believe in a prophecy I heard a long time ago. Soul mates don’t finally meet somewhere at a certain place at a certain time, they’re in each other, all along.” I smile a sad smile. I know what he means. “So on that note,” he smiles. “Tonight I would like to make a toast to three people.” Everyone giggles. “To Alyssa and Scott.” Everyone repeats “To Alyssa and Scott.” “And to my soul mate,” he raises his glass, “who has been with me all along, but is absent from my side.” He raises his glass to the crowd, and everyone claps and cheers. I can’t help it, I try, I really do. But the hot tears are bursting the dam. I blink repeatedly to try and stop them while looking down at the table. I grab a napkin from the table and wipe my eyes quickly before anyone sees. On raising my head I look straight into the longing stare of Joshua who is now back sitting in his seat. We sit silently staring at each other as the party continues around us, both oblivious to the chatter. I give him a sad smile as I wipe my eyes again. That is exactly how I feel about him—he is my soul mate but he is absent from my side. I know it’s just a coincidence that he put that in his speech, but hearing it come from his lips has broken the dam. I stand and make my way to the bathroom.
“Are you ok?” I am stopped on the way by Adrian. I smile and nod, unable to speak past the tears in my throat. “I loved that speech too,” he smiles as he rubs my arm. I smile again and continue on my way. Embarrassment is heating my cheeks and I am still unable to articulate anything. Ten minutes later I stare at the reflection looking back at me in the mirror and the memory bank starts to replay. I can literally feel him, taste him, time has erased nothing. It was as if it happened yesterday.
I love you Natasha. I never thought it was possible to feel like this about anyone. I can’t stand the thought of being on the other side of the world and separated from you. Come with me.
Stop it!