She puts her hand on her chest. “Oh thank god.”
“Every day for a month,” I finish my sentence.
“Fuck off,” Bridget snaps. We both look at her. She has been blissfully silent up until this point. “You slept with Joshua four or five times a day for a month? When was this?”
“On holiday before he went away.”
“Where was I?”
“You were in England with Jenna.” She nods as she processes the information. I can almost see her brain ticking.
“And last night was the first time you’ve seen each other since.” Once again I nod. “How do we not know this?” Bridget asks, the hurt in her voice cutting me. I’m a bad friend who keeps secrets.
“Bridget, I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell anyone because I’m ashamed.” Abbie has her hands in front of her mouth like she’s praying.
“Hang on,” Bridge whispers. “How old were you?”
“Seventeen,” I answer, knowing for certain what the next question is going to be.
“Don’t tell me,” Abbie whispers, eyes wide.
I nod, “Yes, I lost my virginity to him.”
“Fuck off,” Bridget snaps again.
“Were you his first?” Bridget’s hands are running through her hair.
“No, he had slept with lots of girls before me.”
“Shit. This is fucked up Tash,” Bridget whispers.
“I know,” I give a weak smile and nod. “I think…” I stay silent.”I think…”
“What?” Bridget snaps as she sips her coffee. Her patience is running thin. ”I think I’m in love with him.”
“Fuck off,” Bridget snaps as she chokes on her coffee.
“Will you stop saying that?”
“Well then, stop shocking me.”
“Why do you think that?” Abbie looks like she is going to vomit, her face screwed up. She’s holding her stomach.
“Because… because,” they are both leaning in towards me, on the edge of their seats. Bridget is biting her thumbnail. “I think I’m in love with him because I haven’t…I haven’t…”
“You haven’t what?” Abbie snaps.
“I haven’t slept with anyone since.” They both stare at me like I have just grown two heads and their eyes bulge from their sockets. I sit back and, god what a relief, that was cathartic.
“You haven’t had sex in seven years?” I nod and give a sheepish smile. I wish I had a camera. They are speechless, and the look of total horror on their faces makes me giggle.
“How is that possible? You’ve had heaps of boyfriends. You’ve even had two marriage proposals.”
I shrug. “I told them I was waiting for marriage. Obviously I kept them sexually satisfied in other ways but you know what? The only reason they proposed to me was they thought I would be good marriage material since I wasn’t easy.”
“They believed you?” They are both mortified. Abbie looks up at me and starts to giggle.
“What’s funny?” Bridget smiles.