“Slightly,” says one of the girls. I smile in return and rub my forehead.
“That will be $192.00 thanks.” The checkout girl smiles.
Shit, this stuff is expensive. I nod nervously, pay and head back to the car with my five bags of supplies. Even checkout chicks are now putting shit on me, what next?
I walk into the apartment to find Max sitting on the lounge and I walk past him and carry the bags into the bedroom, Tash is still asleep. I bend and kiss her forehead softly and return to the lounge room.
“Thank you,” I nod to Max. “Did she wake up at all?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
I walk into the kitchen and flick the jug on. I would kill for a decent coffee right now.
“Can I talk to you?” Max asks.
I raise my eyebrows at him. “What is it?”
“I just wanted to explain why I helped Natasha leave LA.”
I stare at him deadpan and raise my eyebrows.
“I couldn’t let her be alone in LA, she had no money and she was so vulnerable. I had watched her go through absolute hell since her father died.”
Fury erupts in my stomach. “And what do you think I had been through? I was in hospital for a drug overdose.”
“You slept with Amelie and she was distraught,” he replies.
I narrow my eyes at him. “I know what fucking happened,” I yell. “You can go,” I snap. “I’m not explaining myself to you. You have no idea what is going on between Natasha and me, so cut the bullshit!”
He stands. “Are you going to fire me?”
“If it wasn’t for Natasha you would have been out on your ass long before this and you know that.”
“I don’t want animosity between us. I want to stay guarding Natasha and I want us to get along,” he replies.
I roll my eyes and put my hands on my hips as my angry eyes meet his. “At this moment the only thing I am worried about is Natasha waking up. I want her to be safe from that psycho Coby Allender and if you do your job and keep her safe we will get along just fine. Other than that, I want nothing to do with you.”
He stands slowly.
“Loyalty is earned Max,” I snap.
He nods and drops his head.
“I appreciate you being loyal to Natasha, but let’s leave it at that,” I say flatly.
He nods and leaves the apartment silently.
I go back in to check on Tash. She is lying on her back with the blankets pulled up around her face. I smile—so perfect. I gently lie next to her and kiss her cheek.
“Are you ok, presh?” I whisper.
No reply.
It’s four o’clock. I have been lying next to Tash in my boxer shorts for most of the day watching television. My eyes constantly flick to her … over her. I’m worried she has a brain tumour. This migraine thing is not normal for a healthy woman. I have been looking after her feminine needs all day and the intimacy of the act is turning me inside out. I crave this level of attachment to her, from her. I notice the walk-in wardrobe light is on and I get up to turn it off. My eyes flick to the shoe boxes in the bottom of the wardrobe, her diaries. I walk over and pick up the boxes and go back and lie in bed. I open the first one: 2002, she was thirteen. I read a few pages and smile, adorable and so childlike.
I flick through the next few books. They are so candid. She talks about everything from school to being grounded. She thinks she’s a geek and complains about being too smart. I smile broadly. I rat back through the box and find the one I am after: 2006. I pause before I open it, should I do this? Do I want to know what’s in her head? I close it and put it back in the box. No … I don’t. I get up and make myself a protein shake and sit at the kitchen bench while I think. Maybe I will just read the first one, the one where she and I first made love. I go back to the bedroom with renewed vigour and open the diary. I flick through till I get to the date I am after.
28/12/2006