Oh shit, my stomach drops. “Yes,” I whisper.
“And that’s the only reason you came to me!” he yells, making me jump again.
I nod. “I thought I murdered my father, Joshua. She told me this so that I could forgive myself and for that I will always be grateful to her,” I whisper through tears.
He glares at me as he thinks.
“Joshua, I was dying… she was trying to help me in some fucked-up way.” My tears roll down my face as guilt eats me alive. “We don’t even know if it’s true!” I scream.
He stan
ds and walks back over to the window as he thinks.
“I was protecting you,” I whisper.
He turns angrily. “You were protecting my mother!” he yells. He looks at me filled with disgust and storms past me out of the room.
He’s not going to forgive me for this. What have I done? I drop to the bed in a fit of tears. All along I knew this was coming and yet I talked myself into thinking it would be all ok. This is anything but ok. I should have told him… but then it’s not even true. Wait till I get my hands on that fucking bitch. I suddenly hear Max and Ben’s voices echoing through the front door. “Natasha,” Max calls.
I jump up and wave my hands around frantically. I don’t want them to see me crying. I run to the walk-in robe and close the door behind me. For some reason I think if I squat down they won’t know I’m in here. I sit, squatting, with a deep sense of dread hanging over me and I eventually hear them. “She must be with the girls,” Ben replies as they leave through the front door.
I hold my hand over my mouth as I think. What have I done? I knew he would blame me and, you know what, he has a right to. I should have told him. I knew this was wrong and I should have never agreed with his mother to keep her secret. That bitch. What a liar. And now it seems that Joshua and I may in fact be cousins after all. Dad, I’m sorry, I’ve messed up again. I slump to my bottom and really let the tears flow as I wallow in self-pity.
The wardrobe door opens and Joshua towers over me. I put my head into my hands. I can’t even look up at him.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry,” he says gently as he puts his hand out to pull me up.
My haunted eyes meet his. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you.” I slowly get to my feet as I shake my head in disbelief at the ugly turn of events.
“Yes, you should have,” Cameron snaps from behind him. Oh god, not Cameron too.
“What’s going on?” Cameron demands.
My nervous eyes flick to Joshua and I swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t actually know,” I whisper.
“What did my mother say to you?” Joshua asks gently, sensing my fear.
I swallow the nerves. “She came to me when I was blaming myself for Dad’s death.”
“And?” Cameron asks impatiently.
“She told me that when Scott was a baby your father was away a lot of the time and she was very lonely.”
Joshua crosses his arms angrily in front of him.
“And that your father had lost interest in her sexually,” I whisper.
“She said that. What—those words exactly?” Joshua frowns in disgust.
I nod nervously.
“Then what?” Cameron snaps again.
“I don’t know if the next part is true.” I shrug and pull my hands through my hair. “In fact I don’t know if any of this is true.” My eyes flick nervously between them.
“What did she say?” Joshua asks calmly as he takes my hand in his in a reassuring gesture.
“That she had a very short affair which she had deeply regretted and that she’d finished it. Both your mother and father confessed to each other their infidelities and decided to try and work on their marriage.”