I shrug. “Not sure, he had a bad day yesterday and when we got to bed we didn’t really talk about it. I’ve woken up and he is not here so I am assuming that he is at the gym.”
“Are the girls ok with you? I’m sure you and Joshua want to be alone.”
I sigh. Mum thinks the girls are here for a holiday. She has no idea that the idiots committed the world’s dumbest crime and that they were in fact forced to come with us.
“It’s ok, Mum. Cameron is already here. Joshua and I have the rest of our lives together alone.” I smile into the phone. God, that sounds good.
“You ok honey?”
I stay silent. Why does she always read me like a book?
“Yes. Why?” I reply.
“You just sound off,” she breathes.
I stand and walk over to the mirror and look at my reflection. “No, I’m good. Maybe a bit jetlagged,” I reply as I stare at my lying face.
I can hear her smile. “I will let you go then, sweety. Go back to bed. I love you.”
“Bye Mum. I love you too.” I hang up the phone.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. Mum was right. I am off. I have a sinking feeling that everything is not as it seems with Joshua and me. Last night when we came to bed and made love… actually that’s not true, we didn’t make love. Joshua fucked me—no emotion, no passion, no tenderness—it was like he needed a release as a sleeping pill and I was the closest thing he could find. I could have been anybody and he would have taken me the same. It was like he didn’t know me. It has never been like that before. Even through all of our shit when I didn’t know what was going on between us there was always love and tenderness after we had both orgasmed, a gentleness in him that I love. Not last night… nothing like it… what does that mean? I have a shower while deep in thought, then I put a sexy nightdress on and hop back into bed and surf the net on my iPad as I wait for his return. Forty minutes later the bedroom door opens.
He smiles as he walks in. “Hey presh.”
“Hi,” I breathe. “How was the gym?”
“Good.” He keeps walking into the bathroom.
Hmm. I get up and follow him into the bathroom and find him getting into the shower. I lean up against the vanity as I watch him soap up.
Something is definitely wrong. He hasn’t commented on my sexy apparel or asked me to join him or tried to take me on the sink… unusual behaviour for my beautiful man. I stay still watching him for ten minutes with my mind in overdrive and eventually he gets out and starts to dry himself.
“Josh.”
He bends to dry his legs. “Yes,” he replies without making eye contact.
“Are we ok?”
He looks up. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he asks and we both know there is a double meaning to that question.
“Can we talk about me not telling you about your mother?” I ask nervously.
He throws his towel into the washing basket briskly and exits the bathroom. “There is nothing to talk about,” he replies flatly.
I follow him like a puppy. “Josh, I’m sorry, ok. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know if it was a test.”
His eyes meet mine and he smiles sarcastically. “I’m glad you passed it, Natasha.” He turns his back on me and starts to dress. Fuck. I knew he was pissed off.
“Come on, Josh. Don’t be smart. Try and see this from my point of view,” I reply.
He pulls on a pair of shorts and throws a T-shirt over his head. “I have and that’
s why I’m not fighting with you.” His eyes challenge me to say something and I can tell he wants to fight. He has that bat-shit crazy look in his eye.
I swallow my nerves. “I would rather you scream at me than fuck me like you don’t know me,” I whisper.
His eyes lock onto mine. “You don’t like to be fucked like I don’t know you,” he sneers.