“Yes,” I whisper.
“Robert came back from his trip and confessed to his affair and apologised to me for leaving me alone so much. They were words that I had wanted to hear for such a long time.” I smile sympathetically. “He asked me if we could start again for the sake of Scott. He didn’t want his son to grow up in a broken home and I knew that I owed it to Scott to try.”
Her scared eyes meet mine and I give her a reassuring smile. “Yes, go on,” I whisper.
“I told Robert that I had been unfaithful and that I had been desperately lonely and that I still loved him. We decided to put the past behind us and move forward together—we were so young.”
I nod. “Did he know it was James?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “He never asked; he didn’t want to know who,” she replies.
I nod my head. This is common for men—if they know who they can’t move past it.
“I went to James and told him my plans and he went crazy, totally lost control, and then he hit me.” She stops as if remembering the pain and closes her eyes. “And then he broke down crying and sobbing. I felt so guilty.” She sobs.
I go to the cupboard and find her some tissues and pass them to her and she wipes her nose as she thinks.
“And then I did the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life,” she whispers.
I already know what she is going to say.
“He begged me for one last time. He wanted to make love to me one last time and I was in love with him also. He was so broken.” She looks down at the ground as she thinks. “We made love that day and I had in effect betrayed Robert all over again and he knew it. I gave him the ammunition he needed.”
I frown.
“Two months later Robert and I had gotten back on track and the feelings we had for each other had returned and I was just newly pregnant with Joshua. I thought I had put it all behind me. James had left me alone and had gone back to his wife.”
I smile and nod.
“James rang me this day out of the blue when Robert was away and asked me to meet him. His wife had found out and he needed to talk to me to get our stories straight. I agreed to meet him in a hotel room as we didn’t have anywhere else we could go that was private and I would never allow him to come to my house.”
I nod. “Yes.”
She stands and walks back over to the window and wraps her arms around her as if cold.
“What happened then?” I ask. This story is true. I can tell by how uncomfortable she is telling it.
“He told me that if I didn’t have sex with him he was going to tell Robert everything. That I was previously going to leave Robert, that I loved James, the whole sordid story. When I refused…” She stops.
“He took it anyway,” I whisper and her eyes meet mine.
“I didn’t want it.” She shakes her head as her eyes tear up again. “He told me that if I fought him he would take me so roughly that I would lose Robert’s baby. He would make sure that Robert’s baby didn’t survive.”
Oh god, this is fucked up. That was Joshua in her stomach.
She drops her head in shame.
“How long did this go on for Margaret?” I whisper through my dread.
“Up until the day I paid him Joshua’s money. I hated him, I thought of killing him so many times. I should have.” Anger lights her eyes as she lifts her chin defiantly. “I wouldn’t hear from him for months and I would be so grateful but then as soon as Robert went away he would demand his sexual favours and if I didn’t agree he would beat me. I was hospitalised three times when the children were young. The doctors thought it was my husband. They had no idea he wasn’t even in the country at the time.”
Oh my god, I drop my head in pity. “How did you?”
“The children always had a nanny. I had to have one so I knew they would be safe when Robert was away. At least I could guarantee their safety.”
“Margaret,” I whisper.
“He always wore a condom. I had no idea that Wilson was his until Joshua threw it in my face.”