She raises her chin in defiance.
I glare at her. “I’ll tell you what’s disrespectful, Mamma: leaving two sons out of a family business as if they don’t exist. Leaving three sons a letter after your death, but not one for your only daughter.” My voice rises along with my anger. “Lying to your children for their whole fucking life about who you really are.”
“Enrico,” she whispers. “He had his reasons.”
I slam my hand onto the desk, causing her to jump. “Do not defend him to me!” I yell.
She stares at me through her tears. “You fire anyone you want, get rid of the whole damn company, but if you care for me at all, Lorenzo stays. He’s in his sixties now, and after thirty-five years of loyalty to Ferrara, this is how you are going to repay him? He is too old to get another job, Enrico, you know that.”
“It’s a business decision.” My eyes hold hers. “You’ll have no say.”
“I’ll never forgive you if you do this. I would mourn the breakdown of our relationship,” she whispers. “Please don’t do this.”
My eyes hold hers. “Would you wear your widow blacks for me? Or is that a privilege saved for lying bastards?”
“You’ve gone insane.”
“No. I’m defending my brothers’ rights. This company is as much theirs as it is mine.”
“They don’t want it,” she whispers through tears. “Have you lost your mind, Enrico? This isn’t about your brothers, and you know that. This is about the deception, and I promise you, they only did it to protect you at your father’s insistence. I understand why you are angry with him, but for God’s sake, don’t make your staff pay for his mistakes.”
I glare at her, my anger rising dangerously close to the surface. “Giuliano and Stefano Ferrara are dead. I’m in charge now.”
We stare at each other in a battle of the wills. For the first time in my life, I’ve seen a fiery side of my mother I didn’t know existed.
“Why?” I ask. “Why did you stay married to him when you knew he loved another?”
She wipes away a tear, and guilt fills me. I hate that I’m upsetting her.
“Because, out of all the men in the world, nobody loved you and your brothers as much as your father did. He would have died in an instant to save your life.”
This time, it’s my eyes that glaze over.
“And I know that you feel betrayed, Enrico,” she whispers, “but one day, when you have a son, you will feel the love that he had for you. You will understand that everything he did was only ever to protect you.”
We stare at each other. So much hurt and regret swirls between us.
“It’s true, your father and I didn’t have the marriage you thought we did. Our love was unconditional. We adored each other until the day he died. He was, and still is, my best friend. He never lied to me, Enrico. Not once. I knew where he was during every minute of every day. He loved another, yes, but that wasn’t his fault. You can’t choose who you love. But he chose to stand by me—to honor our vows and care for his sons. Our relationship was special because we both knew what he sacrificed to have it.”
Her silhouette blurs, and I blink to hide my tears. She stands, and with one last, lingering look, she walks quietly from the room.
I stare at the door to which she has just left through.
My heart hammers hard in my chest, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. Regret hits me hard. I’ve never been angry with my mother, but how can I not be? She’s lied, covered up the truth, and chosen to protect him over us. We shouldn’t have learned those things from a letter. She should have told us herself. Once again, she put his needs before anyone else’s, including her own.
I stare straight ahead, and contempt runs through my blood like poison. I can feel its tentacles taking a hold of my soul, purging the last of the good memories from the part of my heart where my father lived for so long.
I’ve never despised him more than I do at this moment.
I hate that he’s hurt me so deeply.
I hope he’s rotting in Hell.
24
Enrico
I stare at the computer screen in front of me. I’ve achieved nothing today.