‘What’s her name?’ someone shouted.
‘That’s Mira.’
‘Go on, Mira!’
The dress was clumped like rubber at my hips. I was twirling around, reaching behind me.
‘Jesus, check out the hooters on that little babe.’
I was taking it off.
Then my hands hit the floor. My hands and my knees. I saw the dress under me black as a rag. Sweating, I’m sweating. My bra and my panties. I looked down between me, crawling away. Hundreds of eyes were watching my ass. Animal, animal.
‘Look at that ass!’
Beats shook the floor. I put my ear down. They all want to fuck me. Mira. Fuck Mira.
My ass tilted higher for Gio’s mean eyes. I hated that he didn’t want me. Butcher-man, why do you hate me? The shame of that helped me. I was pulling my underwear tight up the crack.
‘Spank yourself, Mira!’
My hand made my ass red. Flat on my face, humping the floor …
‘Kinky little chick.’
I don’t know how long I was down there like that for him, spanking myself for hateful him. I was licking my lips when the thumps started changing. I pressed up to stand with the dress tight against my chest. There was wetness on my thighs, splinters in my face.
‘When’s she coming down here?’
‘Yeah, I want a piece!’
I looked for Gio out there in the pit. I wanted to jump straight down through the fire, throw myself to the lion …
But Gio wasn’t sitting where he was before. Maybe he’d left in the middle of my act. I stood there, dumb, thinking: I am the lion.
I ran off the stage and right into Adi.
‘I’m not what those guys are used to, I’m not!’ All of my breaths started to pour out at once.
‘Fuck you, yeah you are! That was fucking hot!’
Suddenly Adi kissed me, longer than before. My underwear was soaking wet. I felt myself opening, my tongue on her lips. I heard her sink a little moan into my mouth. We started frenching, our saliva was sticking. It felt really good just to play with her tongue. Adi’s hands were sliding toward my ass. I was too wet. My teeth dug in her lips. She tasted like smoke.
‘But Gio didn’t stay,’ I whispered. I felt for a second like I was going to cry.
‘Good,’ Adi said. ‘I told you to leave him alone.’
Then I bit down so hard on Adi’s lip that she pushed me away. I think she was shocked, she was covering her mouth, but I just started laughing. Laughing instead of crying.
When Adi realized that a few guys were watching us, she grabbed me by the waist hard and pulled me back close. She was going to forgive me. I opened my mouth on her neck and I felt us shuffling over toward their table. Then we were kissing again, full-on making out, this time grinding ourselves into each other. Adi squeezed the sides of my breasts. I think a few guys got closer around us. Someone undid the string of her bikini-top bra. Adi pulled down my dress from the neck. She pressed and rubbed her nipples into mine. She forgave me for thinking about Gio. I held her naked back. We were stepping on money, sliding on bills. Then Adi’s hot nipple hit my mouth. She held my face down as I licked and sucked hard.
I wish it could’ve stayed like that longer. When I knew Adi liked me and I liked her too.
Everyone believed me when I told them I worked at the twenty-four-hour Second Cup at Union Station. My family did, anyway. I told them I liked the people I worked with and that the money was better when you worked the night shift. I mean, how much does anyone really want to know anyway?
The only one I ever told the truth to was Ezrah.
We hadn’t seen each other in a while because he was away at school. I hadn’t seen him that much since the first year of high school, actually, because his family had moved up north and we’d stayed downtown. We just saw each other on holidays. It was Yom Kippur when I told him. We were in the back seat of his brand new white car.