“Yes.”
“I think you’re sweet, beautiful, and intelligent. You’re a
n awesome girl, and if you had a crush on me, I wouldn’t think you were making a fool of yourself. I’d feel honored.”
There’s an erratic fluttering where my heart should be. I stare at him, unable to say anything through my dazed happiness. He doesn’t wait for me to say anything though. He keeps on walking, carrying the box full of apples, leaving me to follow him back to the house with a stupid grin on my face.
Chapter Seven
Present
I unpack my clothes, mentally trying to compose myself. I have only about an hour until dinnertime, so I manage a shower and a quick nap before brushing out my hair and pulling on a flattering deep green shirtdress, with a belted waist and a hem that’s just above my knees. It’s not too dressy, but it’s not casual either and seems suitable for the semi-formal dinner arrangement that’s always been the style at Halcyon.
I let my hair hang down around my shoulders, and after a moment’s hesitation, I apply a little makeup. Somewhere inside, I know I’m taking such care with my appearance because of Jackson. I hate myself for caring how he sees me. I really shouldn’t, not after everything.
I descend the grand curving stairway, remembering all the times when I went up and down the same stairs as a teenager. I trail my fingers down the smooth wooden banister, which is polished to perfection, and gleams richly in the lights from the chandelier. I study the patterned marble floors of the foyer, the paintings hanging on the walls, the fresh flowers from the garden on the side tables, and I’m consumed by wistfulness. With nobody else in the room to remind me of how much time has passed, I can almost believe that things haven’t changed at all and that I’m still the child who was so happy here.
However, I’m not, I’m a grown woman now, and I’m here to do a job. In the time since Jackson left my room, I’ve toyed with the idea of calling Grace and telling her to find a replacement. I’ve tried to come up with excuses to give her, but it’s no use. There’s nothing I can tell her that won’t make me seem immature and unprofessional.
I hear the voices coming from the main living room before I get to the door. I pause, listening to the muted sounds of laughter and conversation. I can’t hear Jackson’s voice, but I imagine that he’s in there. I imagine his eyes looking up as soon as I enter the room, and looking over me with that mixture of insolence and disdain I’ve come to expect from him. I smooth the front of my dress, my sudden nervousness followed by disgust at myself for letting the thought of him affect me so much. Annoyed, I turn away from the door and find my way to the kitchen.
I’m surprised by the rush of emotion I feel when I see Mrs. Shannon working at the kitchen island, putting the finishing touches to the dinner she’s prepared. I pause at the door, watching her work and blinking away the moisture gathering in my eyes. I can't believe how much I’ve missed her, and I can’t believe it’s been seven years since I last saw her.
Suddenly she stops working and notices me at the door, and to my relief, her face breaks into a huge, welcoming smile. “Oh my… Livvie.” She exclaims, wiping her hands on her apron as she comes round the island towards me.
I hurry to meet her, and she wraps me in a warm hug. It’s overwhelming, the relief I feel. I wasn’t sure how she would receive me, especially since I never bothered to contact her all these years. I was so heartbroken when I left that I closed my heart to everything that had anything to do with Halcyon, everything that had the potential to remind me of Jackson, and everything I had lost.
She releases me then steps back to look at me. “Look how you’ve grown!” She exclaims, “and as skinny as a bone too.”
“I’m far from skinny.” I reply with a laugh. “Don't tell me you’re still trying to fatten everyone up?”
“What’s the point of my job if people don’t eat?” She grumbles. "Anyways, the house is empty a lot these days. There’s no one but myself and the rest of the staff to fatten.”
“So the family really doesn’t live here anymore?”
She goes back to the island, putting on a pair of oven mitts, as I wonder if she’ll respond to my question. I wonder if she’s deciding whether I still deserve to be confided in, now that I’m practically a stranger. “Mrs. Milner comes about once a month, but she lives in her house at Rhode Island now. Blythe stores her clothes here, but she’s mostly in the city.”
What about Jackson? I manage to keep myself from asking the question, waiting impatiently, as she bends to retrieve a perfect looking steak from the oven.
“Jackson though… he’s hasn’t been here in a long time. I was surprised when he arrived yesterday. It’s been a while since I saw him outside the pages of the society columns.”
“Oh.” Then Grace Conlin had been right about the house being empty. It usually was, but for some reason, my arrival had coincided with the family suddenly deciding to show up.
“Well, a lot’s changed.” Mrs. Shannon looks at me. “I learned you're photographing the house for a book about great houses?”
I nod.
“Well, that’s a good thing, I guess.” She says, “If the house ends up with the National Trust, future Lockewoods can read all about it.”
She doesn’t sound very happy about it, and her tone alarms me. “Is that… is Jackson planning to give the house away?” I don’t even want to think about it. While, on one hand, it would be nice to open up such a beautiful house to the public, on the other hand, what would happen to the ties the family has to their home? I would sink every last penny I had into keeping Halcyon if it were mine.
Mrs. Shannon only shrugs in reply.
I watch as she continues to work, my mind in turmoil. Why would Jackson even want to give up the house? It’s not as if he doesn’t have the money to maintain it.
“Jackson would never let Halcyon go.” I say firmly, wishing it more than believing it.
“Well.” Mrs. Shannon sighs. “I don’t know." She pauses. “It was really nice to see you again Livvie.”