“About a six.” She waited while he jotted something down on her chart before asking, “How did you stop the hemorrhaging?”
“Surgery.” He met her gaze. “It was an extensive procedure.”
He hadn’t said anything specific, but his expression told her just how extensive the surgery had been.
“I’m never going to have children, am I?”
“I’m sorry. The only way we could stop the bleeding was to remove your uterus.”
Olivia shut her eyes to escape the sympathy in the man’s face. Denial exploded in her head. She clutched the bed rails, desperate for something to ground her as the world tipped sideways. A wail began in her chest. She clenched her teeth to contain it as a lifetime of discipline and order asserted itself. She would grieve later. In private.
“I know that this will be a difficult adjustment. You are very young to have undergone such a drastic change.”
“Who knows?” she whispered.
He looked taken aback. “Your father. The royal family.”
“The media?”
“Of course not.” Dr. Warner looked appalled.
“Is my father here?”
“He’s in the waiting room with Prince Gabriel. I spoke with him an hour ago.”
“Could I see him, please? No one else, just my father.”
“I’ll have the nurse fetch him for you.”
But the man who showed up next wasn’t a sixty-year-old British earl with gray hair and a neat beard, but a tall, hollow-eyed man with a dark shadow blurring his knife-sharp jawline. Olivia’s heartbeat accelerated as Gabriel advanced into the room, his clothes rumpled, his face a mask. He reached out to cover her hand with his, but she moved it away just in time.
“I’m sorry,” she said, unable to lift her gaze higher than the open collar of his white shirt. “I should have told you about my medical issues. I just thought that everything was going to be okay.”
“You gave us a scare.” He pulled a chair beside her bed and lowered himself into it. This put him at eye level with her and made avoiding his fierce golden gaze that much harder. “When I found you on the floor of the bathroom unconscious.” His tone made it hard for Olivia to breathe. “I thought...” He shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea that quitting the pill was going to cause this much...” To her dismay a sob popped out. Just like that. No
warning. No chance to swallow it or choke on it. Then tears were streaming down her face and Gabriel was stroking her hair and squeezing her hand. His gentleness only made her feel worse.
“Olivia, I’m so sorry.”
He placed her palm against his cheek. The warmth beneath her fingers spread up her arm and drifted through her entire body as she took in the aching sadness in his eyes.
“I’m going to be fine,” she lied, hating how much she wanted to lean on him for support. Choking on her misery, she barreled on. “At least now there’s no question whether I can have children. You’ll never have to wonder if by marrying me you made a huge mistake.”
“Marrying you would never have been a mistake.”
But if she’d had difficulty getting pregnant, he couldn’t help but blame her.
“That’s a moot point.” She willed herself to be strong and to make the break quick and final. “We can’t marry now.”
“I’m not giving up on us.” He covered her hand with his and regarded her with somber eyes.
“There is no more us, Gabriel.” She tugged her hand free. “You are going to be king of Sherdana one day. You need to put your country’s needs first.”
“I have two brothers—”
“Please.” She couldn’t bear to hear any more. Anything he said would encourage her to be optimistic and the last thing she needed to do was hope everything was going to be okay. “I’m really tired. And I’m in pain. I just want to see my father.”