“A little,” he admitted. “I get you wanting to do it yourself, Naomi. But you could have told me.”
“And should have, I know.” She pushed her hand through her wind-tangled hair and sighed. “He wanted money. Threatened to tell the world that he’s my baby’s father if I didn’t pay him off.”
Toby felt a hard punch of anger and gritted his teeth against the helpless flood of it. He really wished he had five minutes alone with the man. “What did you say to that?”
“I told him to go ahead. It would make it easier to sue him for child support.”
A laugh shot from Toby’s throat. “You did?”
“Yes, and he wasn’t happy,” she said, smiling now. “But according to Cecelia, he’s got bigger problems at the moment.”
“What?”
“Not important,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ll tell you later. Toby. Why were you coming to see me?”
“Because sometime between last night and this morning, I finally figured something out.” He reached for her again, laid both hands on her shoulders and held on. “I was coming to tell you that I love you, Naomi.”
She gasped and clapped one hand to her mouth. Her eyes filled instantly with a sheen of tears. “Really?”
“Yes.” His gaze moved over her face, taking in every detail. In the sunlight, the bright streaks in her hair shone like polished copper. Behind her hand, her mouth was curved in a small smile, as if she wanted to believe him but couldn’t quite manage it. And her eyes, her beautiful eyes glittered with love and hope.
“I love you, Naomi,” he said again, willing her to trust him. To believe him. “I was a jackass yesterday. I was so worried about losing you I forgot to fight to keep you.”
“Toby...”
He had no clue what she was going to say, but Toby was determined to speak first. To tell her everything he should have told her when he first suggested they get married.
“I shouldn’t have shut down like that yesterday. I do trust you, Naomi. It was my own stubbornness that didn’t let me tell you that I think I’ve always loved you.” He ran his hands up and down her arms, kept his gaze locked with hers. “I’m lucky enough to be in love with my best friend.”
She pressed her lips together and reached up to impatiently swipe tears from her eyes. “When I left yesterday, Toby, I wasn’t really leaving, you know. I always planned to come back.”
“You walking away is something I never want to see again, Naomi. Don’t think I could take it.” Just the thought of losing her was enough to bring him to his knees.
When Sasha left, anger had driven him. If he lost Naomi, he’d lose his soul.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” she assured him, stepping in to wrap her arms around his waist. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
He held on to her for several long minutes, relishing the beat of her heart against his chest, the scent of her shampoo flavoring every breath and the thump of their child, kicking to get attention.
Finally, though, he pulled back, caged her face between his palms and said, “I want to adopt your baby, Naomi. As soon as it’s born, I want to be its father. So that baby will never doubt that he or she belongs. That we’re family.”
“Oh, Toby...” Tears trickled down her cheeks, but she smiled through them, and his heart turned over to see the love beaming in her eyes.
“And about the California thing,” Toby added quickly, wanting to say it all now while he was holding her close. “If you have to be there for weeks on end to tape your show, we’ll manage. We can buy a house in the hills there and we’ll have a California base for whenever we need it.”
“You’d do that for me?” she asked.
“For us,” he corrected, wiping her tears away with his thumbs.
“It means so much to me that you would,” Naomi said and went up on her toes to kiss him, hard and fast. “But you don’t have to. I called Tamara today to tell her thanks but no, thanks.”
Now it was his turn to be surprised. “What? Why would you do that?”
“Because I don’t need it in the desperate way I used to,” she said. “Before, I wanted my show to succeed so badly so I could prove myself. To my parents. To myself. Because the show was all I had, I poured everything into it.
“But these past few weeks, I’ve discovered I’m more than my show, Toby. I don’t need to make a point. I need you. Us.”
“But, Naomi, this was your dream.”