“You’re divorcing me?” she asked, not quite believing it was possible. Waiting for him to explain how this was part of a grand plan...
“Yes.”
The word was plain and stark, and all the air rushed from her lungs. He was leaving her. Visions from when she was six years old began to flood her mind—the devastation as the front door closed behind her father, the tears, the desperate heartache—but she pushed it aside. This was different.
This was Nick.
It made no sense. They’d been so happy. They’d moved past their biggest hurdle and were now sleeping together through the night. What could possibly have changed for him? He’d kissed her this morning when he’d left to meet... Melissa.
Could his ex-wife have sabotaged their marriage?
She swallowed against the lump forming in her throat before she could get her voice to work. “What did Melissa say to you?”
“She was surprisingly reasonable,” he said. “Things only went bad when Guy showed up.”
Everything inside Harper wanted to demand answers, to push hard against the threat to her marriage, but the small part of her brain that was listening to rational thought knew that wasn’t a good idea. She called on all her self-control and calmly said, “What did he say?”
“His usual bluster and crap.” To a casual observer, Nick’s face would appear expressionless, but she was no casual observer. There was a slight tightening around his jaw; the edge of his lips was pale. “And then he tried to set me up by dumping painkillers on the table in front of me. He wanted to send a photo to Maverick.”
Her skin went cold. Blackmail was bad enough, but her first priority was Nick’s health. “Where are the pills now?”
“I threw them out,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “And Melissa caught Guy in the act, so it failed. It was a clumsy attempt.”
“So everything’s fine now? The blackmail attempt failed, and you didn’t take the pills.” Though she was clearly missing a piece of the puzzle, because there were divorce papers on the counter.
“But that’s not the point,” he said far too calmly for the conversation they were having. “I wanted to take them. Real bad.”
She rubbed her fingertips over her temple. “But you didn’t.”
“You don’t understand.” He cleared his throat. “It made me face something. This is part of who I am, and it’s not healthy to have this hanging over you and the babies. I won’t let it affect you.”
“Nick, I don’t care,” she said, finally giving up on trying to stay calm and allowing the desperation to leach into her voice. “Divorce isn’t the answer.”
“You said that as a SEAL I had to rely on everyone to do their jobs, and that’s true, but sometimes as a leader I had to make the hard calls.” His spine straightened, and his chin lifted a fraction. “And that’s what I’m doing now. Stepping up. Making the hard call to keep everyone safe.”
Angry now, she planted her hands on her hips. “Who made you the leader of our marriage? I thought we had a partnership. You don’t get to make some sort of a noble sacrifice all on your own.”
He didn’t flinch from her anger. Didn’t move a muscle. “You didn’t see me when I was in the throes of the addiction. You and the babies are precious. I won’t risk any possibility of that touching you and them.”
Nothing seemed real—more like a bad dream or something happening to someone else. Or a practical joke in poor taste. He wasn’t making this up—his body language showed no signs of deception. He honestly believed she’d be better off without him, despite this being so much bigger than the two of them.
“What about the babies? They need their father. What are you going to do?”
His eyes squeezed shut for long seconds before he met her gaze again. “They don’t need a father like me around. If you need to go back to Connecticut, I understand. We can talk about visitation after they’re born.”
He pushed to his feet, and for the first time she noticed a bulging duffel bag on his other side. The air in the room seemed thicker as her lungs struggled to draw enough in.
She looked pointedly from the duffel bag back to him. “So you’re leaving all t
hree of us?”
“I’m a mess, Harper. You know that.” He ran a hand down his face, then dug it into his pocket. “I need some space to decide how best to be a good father to all three kids. I want to get it right, as best I can.”
This was all so very wrong. Yet how could she convince him how wrong it was when he’d already convinced himself otherwise?
At Nick’s movements, Frank ambled over, probably hoping for a trip in the car.
“What about Frank?” she asked.