He made a move to go to the door, then noticed the spotlight on in the backyard.
An awareness coiled in his stomach. Natalie was in the backyard. Probably on that glider with a glass of wine. Just as she’d been his first night.
He adjusted his course, made his way to the backyard. Needing—not just wanting—to see her.
His chest tightened as his eyes found her and took in the familiar sight of Natalie, feeling like it had been months since he’d seen her rather than days. Looking at him without speaking, she tapped the glider back and forth, her silver sandals glinting in the moonlight. Her sapphire-blue dress grazed her ankles, and strawberry curls fell loosely over her shoulders. She held a narrow goblet and rested it lightly on her knee.
A beer waited for him on the tree-stump end table. She’d taken a huge risk to her pride for him. Her giving heart and her confidence were...stunning.
Her calm face called him closer.
He made his way across the lawn, crunching leaves, and then dropped his computer bag at her feet. “I hear you need a security upgrade.”
Not his best opening line.
She gestured to the longneck bottle. “Have a drink and let’s talk about what I need.”
Had she meant the double entendre?
He took the beer and sat beside her. “I got your message from Chelsea.” He glanced at her. “What would you have done if I’d sent Will?”
She smiled. “You didn’t.”
“I have trouble saying no to you.” He took a risk and tucked a lock of her hair over her shoulder. His fingers ached for the familiar softness of her skin. “It’s been like that since I first saw you. I want to give you everything. You deserve it, Natalie.”
She took his hand in hers, looking at him with those clear green eyes. “That’s ironic, since you’re taking away the one thing I want most. You.”
Hers words pierced right through him. Even more than the wind that whipped and rustled the trees. God, he wanted to cave right now, but he loved her too much—
Loved?
The word stopped him short. The word. The one he’d been hiding from since the first second he’d laid eyes on her.
He’d fallen in love with her at first sight. Which was why he was so damn afraid of letting her down. The stakes were the highest ever.
“Natalie—”
She pressed her fingers to his mouth. “I believe you that you would do anything for me. I do.” Her fingers grazed down until her palm rested over his pounding heart. “And I don’t want to take advantage of that. Instead of us spending so much time seeing how you fit into my life, I think it’s time for me to be more open to discussing changes I could make. Seattle was gorgeous. I enjoyed my time there and can imagine spending time there, much more time.”
Her willingness to compromise, to give up so much for him, humbled him. Max leaned in, his face so close to hers he could feel her breath on his skin. “And your kids?”
“They have fish and computers and crayons in Seattle. Maybe the kids would enjoy a trip to a cabin as a starter.” She held his face, those tender fingers stroking ever so slightly.
God, she totally humbled him with her forgiving, giving, beautiful heart.
“You’re really offering this after the way I walked out on you?”
She eased back, resting a hand on his chest again and looking deep into his eyes. Searching. “You’re here. That tells me a lot.”
A shudder of relief rocked through him, all the way to his core. “I meant it when I said I’m afraid I can’t do this, be a parent, be a part of a family. Not after the way I grew up.” His life on the streets had left him far from prepared for parenthood. “What if I screw up again? What if I can’t give you and the kids enough?”
“Oh, Max—” she smiled, no doubts in her eyes “—we all screw up. That’s life. As for your other worry? You’re one of the most giving people I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not a role model for your children, not after the things that I’ve done. I’ve broken the law more than once in my past.” He needed to be sure she didn’t see him through rose-colored glasses. He had to be certain she was certain, because he didn’t think he could scavenge the will to tell her goodbye again.
“What are you doing now? How are you living your life now?” She asked the pointed questions firmly. “You’re a good man. I can see that.”
“I don’t need to survive that way. The choices are easier now.”