She’s found a tumble of rocks that bump right up to the shore, windswept clean except for a little lichen and a few collected pools of rainwater in the hollows.
The way she looks seizes me by the throat.
She’s sitting on the rocky peak with her hands braced on both sides of her lithe body, her nose pink from the cold, her eyes bright and her cinnamon hair spilling over her shoulders.
In a flash, I see this strange freshwater mermaid, playing at being human.
Like any moment now she’ll tumble away, skin silver-white and icy as the glacial water, hair streaming kelp, her legs turned into a fishtail.
Maybe it’s an odd fantasy—the kind of thing I’m used to from hours spent on Alaskan fishing boats, the waves lulling you into quiet daydreams.
Still.
There’s this feeling about her.
Like she’s ephemeral and not really here.
Too easy to let slip through your fingers, even when you’re fighting like hell to hold on to her.
That shouldn’t make me feel so melancholy, so raw. Too many memories, I think, turning me inside out now that I’m alone in the wild with a pretty lady. It’s been too long.
Katelyn and I were long over when she died. No love lost. You still mourn the person, no matter what they did.
Because no matter what, you still made something together, and what we made out of our bad times is more precious to me than anything in this upside-down universe.
Eli.
There’s a very good reason I haven’t looked at a woman in years—Eli always comes first.
Clearing my throat, I step up to the rocks and drop the bags in a good clear spot.
“Hey.”
She startles, jumping a little, then looks over her shoulder at me. It’s like she’s just come back to earth, becoming solid and real again.
“Oh, hey. Did it give you much trouble?”
“More stubborn than wrestling a bear,” I say.
“Have you really?” she asks lightly. “Wrestled many bears, that is.”
“Only the odd bears trying to break into our grub while camping.”
She stares, her mouth dropping open a little.
Biting back a grin, I wink, leaving her to decide for herself whether or not I’m punking her.
I settle down, my forearms resting on a rock outcropping, looking up at her with the sun framing her and pulling out the hints of red in her hair. It makes individual strands glow like forge-fire.
Shit, it’s hard to tear my eyes off her.
“So you want to head out now, or set up camp first? Gonna be colder on the water. Might be good to have a fire prepped and warm digs waiting when we come back.”
“Now. Before I lose my nerve,” Felicity says. No hesitation. She looks away from me, that far-seeing gaze turned out over the lake as if she can see all the way to its bottom. “I’d rather know than chicken out.”
“Now it is.” I straighten, dusting off my arms. “Did you see anything when you passed by?”
“Hmm.” After a moment, she shakes her head. “Nothing but shadows. Big ones. That deep, the water’s too murky. How are we even going to get down there?”
“Not we. I.” I pick up one of the bags I just dropped—what used to be my go bag, a duffel bag stuffed to the nines with survival gear, but now it’s just the minimum. Force of habit. It’s got my scuba gear in it, and thank God I’ve kept myself in shape or I’d have a hell of a time squeezing into the wetsuit. “Did you forget the Navy SEAL part? Plus, I’ve got twice the diving experience from offshore work. You didn’t just bring me here for my big crane, did you?”
Again, I wink.
Her eyes widen before she breaks into a laughing fit.
Yeah, I’m grinning.
Her laugh could grow on a man.
She laughs like she’s not used to a joke, but it’s a delight to see, to hear, to relish.
“Oh my God, your dad jokes are awful. And so are your dirty ones.”
“My sense of humor makes Eli laugh, thank you very much.” Chuckling, I shake my head and twirl one finger. “Now turn around. I need to suit up, and I can’t have you feasting your eyes and spoiling my purity.”
That gets another snicker, then she clears her throat and dutifully turns away, lifting her chin and making a point of staring at the sky.
I turn my back before I start to strip down.
I’m not shy.
I’m just not a fan of exposing myself to strange women unless they’ve asked to see it.
You hoping she’ll ask, Alaska? this sly voice in the back of my mind sings.
Nope. Gotta get those catastrophic thoughts outta my head.
A dip in the glacial water should help with that, though I wince at the imminent freeze to my balls.
It doesn’t take me long to shimmy into the wetsuit, zipping up from neck to toe in the rubbery, insulated layer.