Maybe I’m now old enough to look back on some of it as actually being kind of funny.
Or maybe they’ve put some drugs into the sock-infused water.
“Go on. You were going to say that there is one thing you respect about me, and I very much want to know what it is.”
“That you had the balls to take me out, to ask my brother if this was okay and risk him going caveman on you and annihilating your ass.”
“No.” Hal shakes his head and looks at me too knowingly. He does know. He knows me, and he knows when I’m lying. “That wasn’t it. Try again.”
I bite into another breadstick to hide my fury. I chew furiously, taking it out on the food. “Fine. Whatever. I guess I respect you for what you did for your mom. For how much you love her and how you were always so good and polite to her and worked hard to contribute to the household when you were still in high school. You took care of her as soon as you could. We all know how much you love her. Most guys can’t admit to it, but you were never scared to. I guess that’s pretty admirable.”
“Really?”
“I…” Shit. Shit’s getting too real. I can feel a strange heat building up inside of me, and yes, I think it’s definitely drugged water causing it because it’s starting from my stomach. I go for a change of subject, hoping it will be safer. “I guess those two grannies you adopted will have some crazy stories about their new grandson to tell all their new friends in the Maldives. Neither of them had any kids of their own, and they would have been called spinster sisters if this was a different era.”
I turn my eyes toward one of the paintings on the wall closest to us. It’s of some man dressed in ancient clothing with a frilly collar at his neck. His black hair is cropped short, he has a pointy chin beard, and his eyes are the kind of eyes that probably follow a person all about everywhere. That man seems like he might have been from one of those eras I’m talking about. Right now, sitting here, I feel like I’m from a different era.
I have this weird sensation that makes me feel hot and wrong and shivery, and it’s like I don’t belong in my own skin. I feel like Hal might be someone else. Not the guy I grew up with as a second brother, but someone I don’t even know. When I sweep my eyes back in his direction, I realize he’s certainly looking at me like this is the first time he’s seen me.
His eyes are open, honest, and sparkling. And also too green because it isn’t his real eye color. But still. There is something there. Something I can hardly begin to fathom.
“I could name a thousand things I respect about you,” Hal says, still staring at me so intently that I feel nailed to the spot.
I also feel like someone just lit a fire under my chair, shoved me into a cooking pot full of sock water, and tried to boil me alive. Maybe it’s this place’s secret dish. I grasp my water glass and get ready to hurl it at Hal’s face. I’m beyond certain he’s mocking me, but he doesn’t blink, doesn’t smile, and doesn’t yell bullshit and laugh in my face.
He’s looking at me like…I don’t know. Just that…that it’s not the way Hal normally looks at me.
I swallow thickly when I realize he’s serious. There’s heat in his gaze that has never been there before, and it makes me shift in my chair like he just planted a firecracker or chocolate pudding under me, which he and Sam once did when I was wearing white pants. And they filmed it. I can only say I wish I were joking.
I feel like Hal has a secret he’s been keeping from everyone, maybe even from himself. My god, what a secret he made of it, whatever it is. I don’t want to start to unravel it, fathom it, or dig deep and unveil it. What an applaudable poker face he’s had all these years because he’s never looked at me like he’s looking at me now.
As a matter of fact, my nipples are giving him a standing ovation underneath my dress. All that sock water is also swimming in my stomach, and my legs are throbbing like they’ve been clapped violently together a few times in an effort to add to the round of applause.
I clear my throat roughly again. “Hmmm hmmmm. I…I see you’re still rocking the man bun. Apparently, you also forgot to shave.”
He rubs a hand over his chin, and the motion does something that makes my vision black on the edges because I forget to breathe. “You know, I thought I’d give the razor a break for a while.”