My mom’s expression changes instantly when she thinks Ashley is only dressed this way because of me. She clicks her tongue at me and gives Ashley a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry about my son and his workaholic tendencies. Would you be more comfortable if I asked for a table somewhere a little more private?”
“Oh no, honestly it’s fine,” Ashley reassures with a warm smile.
“Alright, dear.” My mom smiles back. “I’m Helen by the way, as it seems my son has forgotten his manners completely.” She leans forward and kisses Ashley’s cheek.
“And you probably already know that I’m Ashley,” Ashley informs as she sits down.
My mom picks up her menu. “I guess we better order.”
Ashley catches my eye while my mom is distracted, “Thank you,” she mouths.
I don’t know why this makes me happy, but it kind of does. I decide not to question why I’m happy, but instead, just be grateful that I am.
5
Ashley
Mrs. Jagger, well, she asked me to call her Helen, looks at me as though I’m out of my depth and even Finn is starting to feel sorry enough for me that he covered for me. But I’m not out of my depth. I could fit in here if I wanted to. Hell, I used to fit into places like this just fine. I just choose not to anymore. Five years ago, this place would have been one of my local haunts, but I’m not that person anymore.
Five years ago, I was just like Finn; a cog in the glittering world of the moneyed, ruled by wanting to win at all costs. I still want to win, but now at least, I’m fighting for something worth fighting for. When I win now, it’s not about screwing over the little guy or making millions of dollars. It’s about changing someone’s life, giving them a fresh start when they need it the most.
The day I left the corporate world behind, I left behind all of its trappings. I stopped buying clothes that cost enough money for a family to live for a week. I stopped driving a car that cost more than some people’s homes. And as I shed the materialistic stuff, I realized I didn’t miss any of it at all. In fact, I found the very notion I had once been one of those desk monkeys abhorrent. Looking back now, it’s like I’m looking back on someone else’s life rather than my own.
My parents weren’t happy about my decision to go into the nonprofit sector, but they got used to the idea, and I think now, they’re just happy I’m happy. Or at least my dad pretends to because my mom wants to keep the peace. My friends were a different story. My friends were a group of Finns and when I left that life behind, we all realized just how little we had in common. The only thing tying us together was a life I was no longer living. It’s not like they weren’t supportive, it’s just that they didn’t get it and I no longer got them. I kind of drifted away from them, and the odd time I run into one of them now, we’re civil enough, but it’s like we’re strangers. I suppose in some ways we are.
I am much happier now, living a simple life and helping people, but holy shit… I wish I’d put the stupid dress on now. I’d expected Helen to be one of those executive type women who wear sharp suits and snap at everyone, trying to prove they’re every bit as strong as their male counterparts. I’ve taken down plenty of those types over the years, and I knew in my mind exactly how to handle Helen.
The trouble with this plan is Helen isn’t corporate. I can see this by looking at her. She’s wearing a neat white blouse and a black skirt. Her collar is open showing a string of pearls. Her slightly greying hair is rolled into a chic chignon and her earrings match her necklace. Everything about her screams upper class. She is more like royalty than a part of the corporate world.
And I have no idea how to handle her.
Although she has been warm to me, I can tell she doesn’t approve of any of this, and I can tell she doesn’t approve of me. Generally, when I meet people who are so openly judgmental of me, I cut them out of my life, but I’m kind of stuck with Helen for the near future. If I were dressed more appropriately for this place, for this lifestyle, I would have had some armor at least.
I would have been back in my old clothes, playing my old role. The role where I fit in with the Helens of the world. The role where she would have been pleased to think her son was marrying me. And it wouldn’t have mattered that it was all fake.