My heart felt as if it was breaking into pieces. We’d had so many plans for the future. But that meant nothing. I’d taken so much from his life. His family, his career, his friends. It was time to let go of that dream.
People like me, born in the gutter, did not get their happily ever after. I’d lied to myself enough. I couldn’t keep dragging Alex down with me. He deserved better.
Without me, he could return to the family firm where he belonged and take his rightful place as his father’s heir. He would marry a girl that his family approved off. At that thought, my heart expanded to painful proportions.
I couldn’t imagine my Alex belonging to another woman. As long as I never saw it, I would be okay. I cried until I had no more tears. I drove out of the parking lot and headed home. I’d left work two hours earlier and I had some time before Alex came home.
Another thought plagued me as I took a shower. What about my best friend Amy? She’d become a big part of my life. So had Helen and her family. I thought about cutting them off from my life and I started bawling in the shower.
But I had to. Amy was a softie and if Alex pressed the right buttons she would break and tell him where I was and why I’d left. And of course, Alex would come for me and convince me to stay with him by quoting that nonsense we had said in our wedding vows.
For better or for worse. But blindness? That was too much to ask. Not to mention all the sacrifices that Alex had made for me.
As for Helen, I didn’t know her well enough to know whether she could keep a secret. What I did know however, was that it would be unfair to ask her to do so. We’d only found each other and asking her to carry such a burden was wrong.
I would write letters to all of the important people in my life, explain to them that I have to go but not tell them the real reason. Alex’s was going to be the hardest one to write because I was going to have to lie.
If I wanted him to move on with his life, I was going to have to be ruthless.
“Honey?” Alex’s voice called, jerking me back to the present. I’d taken longer than I’d planned in the shower.
I turned off the knob and grabbed a towel. “I’m in the bathroom.”
“Okay,” he said.
I dried myself and when I padded into the bedroom, he was seated on the edge of the bed, sporting a massive tent in his pants.
I laughed. “To what do I owe that to?”
“Just thinking of you in the shower, rubbing yourself between your legs as soft moans escape your mouth,” Alex drawled.
“Not true,” I said. “But now that you mention that…” I dropped the towel and sashayed towards him.
I emptied my thoughts of the devastating afternoon I’d had and thought only of pleasuring my husband. I straddled him and rubbed my pussy over the swell of his pants.
“You look hot in a tie,” I said to him.
“And you look hot naked, wife,” he said.
I bit my tongue to keep myself from bursting into tears. I loved it when Alex called me wife. I covered his body and kissed him, cradling his face as I did so. His hands roamed my back, my ass and my hips.
He patted my thighs and rocked his hips, dry humping me. Some things were so easy to take for granted. Like having a man you loved to make love with. To try out all the crazy sexual fantasies you’d ever had.
“My cock needs to be freed,” he said.
“And I need it,” I told him and lifted myself off his body.
Alex unbuckled his belt and pulled off his pants. Half-naked, I clambered on top of him again as he held his cock, ready for me.
“Yes,” I said as I slid down his thick wide cock. I closed my eyes as I took the full length deep inside my pussy.
I’d become addicted to making love with Alex. What would I do on the days when my body refused to understand that Alex was gone and there was no one to fill that void?
I tried to push away thoughts of an empty, lonely life and failed. There had to be another way out, I told myself. But I was fooling myself and burying my head in the sand, just as I had when I said yes to marrying Alex.
I was doing it for Alex. I was protecting him from any more heartbreak. He was the kindest, sweetest man I knew and he did not deserve any more pain. I hadn’t realized that I was crying until Alex stopped thrusting and his firm grip on my hips loosened.