I’d started using my middle name and hoped that it would throw off anyone looking for me. But then again, I didn’t expect anyone to look for me.
“You may see the doctor now.”
I entered the inner office. The doctor looked up and smiled.
“Miss Evans, have a seat. I have what I hope will be good news for you,” he said.
Relief washed over me as I sat down. I needed good news.
“You’re pregnant!”
I gasped. “What?” I couldn’t be. I’d left Alex two months earlier. Oh God! That meant that I was more than two months pregnant.
Panic rose up my throat, threatening to choke me. A coldness hit my core as the implication of the news hit me. I was going to have to tell Alex. Everything I’d done to set Alex free had been for naught.
I couldn’t think. I looked up and realized that the doctor was talking to me.
“Is the father present?” Dr. Martin asked.
I nodded. Maybe not at that very moment but one thing I knew about Alex was that he would want to be a part of his baby’s life. Ten minutes later, armed with a bunch of prescriptions, I left the doctor’s office. I’d taken my lunch hour to see the doctor and needed to go back to work.
Woodfield was the smallest town I had ever lived in and I’d purposely picked it for that very reason. I’d debated between moving to a large city but discarded that idea as I needed the warmth of small-town living.
With no family and friends, I craved a close community I could be a part of. I walked back to the diner, my mind a whirl of activity. Where would Alex fit in our lives? Would I have to tell him that I’d lied about having another man in my life?
“You’re back early,” Michael, the other chef said as I entered the kitchen.
“I finished early with my appointment,” I said.
“Have a cup of tea, honey,” Beatrice, the lady who washed the dishes said, standing up from where she sat to serve me. “You look like you could use one.”
I sank into a chair gratefully. “Thanks.” I suddenly longed for Amy… and mostly for Alex. I imagined how he would have reacted to the news if we’d still been together.
He would have slipped his big hands around me and lifted me up high in the air. Then he’d have twirled me around and we would have danced and celebrated.
“That’s better,” Beatrice said as she handed me a cup of tea. “Nothing like a smile to add cheer to the day.”
I blinked back the tears that formed in my eyes. I swallowed hard. I decided to call Alex that evening after work, before I lost my guts. A plan quickly formed in my brain. He could see the baby whenever he wanted but I was not going to be a part of his life.
Then I realized that it would be even easier than I thought. After all, the damage was already done. Alex hated me. He would demand a DNA test when the baby was born. Pain funneled into my heart at the thought of Alex questioning the paternity of the baby.
I could not blame him for it, though it was going to hurt. I was the one who had made the decision to lead him into thinking that I had fallen in love with someone else. An unrealistic thought formed, an tiny part of me had hoped that he would come after me.
That he knew me well enough to know that the things I had written in the letter couldn’t possibly be true.
Charlotte
I’d sit in the same position for close to an hour.
Darkness had set in and I hadn’t made a move to either turn on the living room lights or make that call. My palms hurt from gripping my cell phone so hard. Beads of sweat poured down my forehead.
My throat had closed up and I was afraid that if I called, I would not be able to speak. But I couldn’t stay in the same spot all night. I had to make a decision. I raised my left hand and let it rest on my flat belly.
It was hard to believe that at that very moment a child was forming in my belly. A baby conceived from the greatest of loves. The shock of my pregnancy had worn off and now I felt a glimmer of excitement about the baby.
The future loomed ahead and stopped me from embracing full-fledged joy. I’d heard of women who were blind and were great mothers. But how would it feel to know that I’d never see my child’s face as a grown up?
A sob choked me. Stop it, I said to myself. Those thoughts were not helpful at all. One day at a time was going to be my new motto, I decided. The one step I needed to take was to call Alex. I could do it.