Marx Girl

She shakes her head. “Well, obviously, I like Mr. Right.” She pauses as she pants. “But with all this ovulation going on, I’m as horny as hell.” She pants.

I frown.

“I don’t know, I kind of just want to bang Mr. Right Now, you know?”

I wipe my face with the towel again. “Wait a minute… you’re ovulating?” I ask as I power up the stairs.

“Yeah.”

I frown. “When was your last period?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, like two weeks, ten days ago. I don’t know, you’re the same as me. We’re cycling, remember? When was your last period?”

I frown as I continue to climb. “I don’t know.” I pant as I think. “I don’t think I’ve had a period since I’ve been with Ben.”

She scowls. “What?”

My eyes widen in horror.

“Fucking hell. Think!” she snaps.

I continue to climb as I mentally go over the last few weeks. When was the last period I had? “At the wedding… when I was with Eric.”

“Did you have sex with Eric after that?” she asks.

I shake my head. “No.” I push the stop button on the stair machine as I pant.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Get off that thing,” I tell her. “We’re going to the pharmacy. Right now.”

Abbie sits on the side bathtub, reading the instructions. “It says here that if you have a line appear in the second window, it’s a positive reading.”

“Right. So, where do I pee?” I ask.

“Remove the cap from the stick,” she continues reading.

I do as she says.

“And you pee on that bit sticking out.”

“Oh, right.” I pull down my tights, sit down onto the toilet, and begin to pee on the stick. “Fucking hell, I’m getting it everywhere. My vagina’s like a sprinkler,” I murmur.

She giggles and holds her hand out for it. I pass it over and she pulls a disgusted face, holding it between her fingertips.

I wipe, pull my tights up, and wash my hands.

Her eyes widen.

“What?” I frown.

She hands me the stick. “You’re pregnant, girlfriend. Up the fucking duff.”

25

Bridget

I frown, horror dawning. “What?” I snatch the stick from her and stare at it. “It must be a mistake. Give me the instructions.”

She passes them to me and I read them out loud.

If a line appears in the second window, it is a positive reading.

I look back at down, and there they are, a line in both windows. My eyes rise to meet Abbie’s. “What the fuck?” I whisper.

She shrugs, and flashes a stupid grin. “Whoops.”

“This isn’t funny, Abbie,” I snap.

She smiles goofily. “Kind of is. Goodbye hot body, hello shitty diapers.”

“Oh, God.” I stand in a rush. “Ben’s going to freak.” I throw my hands in the air. “He’s not ready for this.”

“How do you know?” she asks me dryly.

“Because I know.” I widen my eyes. “I’m on the fucking pill. How do you fall pregnant on the pill?”

She twists her lips. “Super potent sperm.”

“Oh, please.” I roll my eyes. “You sound like fucking Cameron Stanton.” I fumble through the box. “That one was probably faulty, I’ll do the other one.” I take out the second test and go through the procedure again. But sure enough, the two lines come up again.

My horrified eyes rise to meet Abbie’s and she smiles. “Fifty bucks says it’s a boy.”

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.” I begin to fan my face with my hand to try and stop myself from having a complete panic attack.

“Will you stop saying that? God isn’t going to bloody help you now.”

I close my eyes. “Oh, I just want Ben to be home. Please don’t tell anyone this, he needs to know first.”

“Of course. He’ll be here soon, don’t worry. Make an appointment to go to your doctor tomorrow and see what he says,” she replies.

We walk out into the living room and flop onto the lounge.

“Are you sure it’s Ben’s and not Eric’s?”

My eyes snap to her and my face falls in horror. “Don’t even say that.”

I shake my head and go back through my dates in my head. “No, I definitely haven’t slept with Eric since my last period.”

“Thank God. Wouldn’t that be a fine mess?”

I put my fingers to my temples. “Don’t even say it.”

“I’ll Google it.” She types into her phone.

How do you fall pregnant on the pill?

She reads and then nods, leaving me to watch her. “What does it say?” I ask.

“It says that you should have stuck to anal.”

“For fuck’s sake, Abbie, this is serious!” I cry.

She laughs. “It says, if the time you take the pill differs, or if you have taken a course of antibiotics, if you miss a pill…” She frowns as she reads on. “If you leave your pills in the car.” She screws up her face. “That’s random. Apparently they lose their potency if they get overheated.” She looks up at me. “Done any of those?”